Eavesdropping on Silence

Parting Time

2008-08-20T21:55:00.004+08:00

It's been over a year.

It's been good.

But I haven't been keeping up with you, and maybe, just maybe..

it's time to let go and move on.

Don't worry, I'll keep the memories safe.

But you can still find me here.

And I'd still want to hear from you. :)

Toxicity

2008-07-22T21:18:00.003+08:00

I'm not a big System of a Down fan, but I do like their single whose title appears as the title of this entry. However, I'm not gonna write on the band, that song, or music at all.

It's just that I'm starting to notice that everything I blog about recently would be about things that stress me out. I guess it's some way of venting out, some way of making myself feel a little less alone in the world.

Things are pretty much the same for me; juggling acads with extracurriculars (not to mention love life and social life and everything else) has been quite a routine now and I'm not struggling to cope as hard as before. I've been particularly keen on spotting the funny things in between the stressful ones. Just like this afternoon.

I sent my orgmate an SMS, saying "May wifi ba sa tarp?"

I meant to ask "May wifi ba sa tambayan?"

The scatterbrained me was still thinking of the draft tarp design I was supposed to be presenting that same day.

Toxicity.

Just one more night

2008-07-14T20:58:00.002+08:00

Goosebumps overload.

The members of the Pinoy band behind the amazing music that definitely helped shape the course of OPM; that became the substance of my daydreams even if I discovered them years after their heyday since I was probably still a thumbsucking toddler then..

..who disbanded some time in 2002..

..will be reunited REAL SOON.

I am talking, ofcourse, about The Eraserheads.

At first I thought it was a rumor tailored to keep my desperate hopes up just to leave me badly disappointed after finding out the truth.

Then I saw this on the net.

08.30.08
CCP Open Grounds.
ONE NIGHT ONLY.

PLEASE. I wanna witness Ely, Buddy, Marcus and Raimund perform together.

As the old band they used to be.

Even for just one night.

On A Forgotten Suicide Mission

2008-07-09T22:36:00.003+08:00

burn-out n. fatigue, frustration, or apathy resulting from prolonged stress, overwork, or intense activity.

I'm honestly having a hard time juggling acads, extra-curriculars, social life and my me time - I suppose that explains my, well, unexplained long absence from the blogging community. So many things to do, so little time. I am absolutely grateful for the people who keep coming back here even if it's been over a month since my last post.

I wish I'd drawn up a better schedule this semester. Four subjects on Tuesdays and Thursdays, one on Wednesdays and Fridays, and another one on Saturdays. I am so not getting any benefits
from my free time because of my responsibilities with my two organizations, what with matters that bug me even when I'm going to sleep.

Or maybe I could have chosen commitments to focus on, instead of grabbing all the opportunities I get. Maybe I could have raised my performance level on everything else if I had fewer responsibilities. And my health wouldn't suffer as much too. I thought everybody was overreacting with my sleeping and eating habits (or lack thereof), but I learned the hard way that they were right. Something seriously awful could happen to me if I keep doing this.

Funny. This is deadlock. It's like I've launched myself into a suicide mission and changed heart halfway through.

And I'm not even halfway through. It's only been a month. A month.

On the upside, I am coping. Atleast I think so. It's been a month already so I guess I'm past the adjustment period of being a college junior, so yeah. I'm gonna keep up. :p

I'd like to believe that happiness is indeed a choice; and that instead of doing what I love, I should love what I do.

Utter Disbelief

2008-06-11T12:06:00.003+08:00

I don't believe it.

I spent a good deal of Monday night and very early Tuesday morning cramming for this newsletter thing we were supposed to give to those freshmen.

I just pulled an all-nighter, and school hasn't even started yet!

Oh god. At this point I can't totally, honestly say that I'm still enjoying this.

Random Eights

2008-05-25T16:04:00.003+08:00

I'm really not into this stuff, but Jaycee's tag looked worth something. :D

TAG NO.1

List eight (8) random facts about yourself. Tag eight people at the end of this post and list their names. Let them know they’ve been tagged by leaving them a comment on their blogs.

1. I was born C-section.
2. I chew on my straw and my lip.
3. I hate it when Catholic priests talk about politics like they know it and like they're even supposed to preach about it.
4. Either I'm a masochist or just a sucker for guilt trips.
5. I'm allergic to seafoods.
6. I have something against sell-out mainstream culture. Not very much deviant though.
7. I'm a lover of all things vintage.
8. I have rather peculiar religious views.

TAG NO.2

8 things I am passionate about:

1. Life in general
2. Love
3. My relationships
4. Music
5. Country
6. Education/school/acads
7. My student organizations/extra-curriculars
8. Literature

8 things I say too often:

1. sh*t
2. punyeta
3. anak ng siopao
4. fugger
5. pare
6. dude
7. ha? alin?
8. holy mother

8 books I’ve read recently:

1. Twilight
2. New Moon
3. Eclipse
4. PS I Love You
5. The Claiming of Sleeping Beauty
6. Anna Karenina
7. Notes from Underground (di ko natapos.)
8. Great Political Thinkers. Haha

8 songs I could listen to over and over again FOR THE MOMENT:

1. Emily - From First to Last
2. Flux - Bloc Party
3. Boys Do Fall in Love - Parokya ni Edgar
4. Anthem - Urbandub
5. Shadow of the Day - Linkin Park
6. 23 - Jimmy Eat World!
7. Paperthin Hymn - Amberlin
8. Sidewalks - Story of the Year

8 things I learned in the past year:

1. Never settle for anything less than what you deserve.
2. How to go to Ninoy Aquino Stadium via public transpo :D
3. When you're going out but you're not supposed to, think up an excuse even before you go out, and not the morning after.
4. Opportunties might just be disguising as down times.
5. Love can usually be confused with dependency.
6. Sometimes your best isn't good enough.
7. Sometimes trying DOES hurt.
8. It might actually be sweeter the second time around. :)

TAG NO.3

Would you go out with you? State the reasons why you would, and why you wouldn't, and then come to a conclusion at the end.

reasons for [i would]

1. I actually like how I look. Hahahaha
2. I can be nice, when I make an effort
3. I can be interesting..at times
4. My reasons are strating to get loopy already, so I'll just say that I have qualities that I like.

reasons for [i wouldn't]

1. That would be very lesbo, and I'm straight.
2. I'm short for my age
3. I never make the first move. So maghihintayan lang yung dalawang selves ko. Hahaha
4. I am moody
5. I can be really weird at times. Like, exhibit not-so-normal behavior.
6. I can be really really boring.

Conclusion: I have more reasons for "I wouldn't" so I probably won't. Haha. I have qualities that I like and I don't like, and that doesn't make sense because if I knew what was wrong with me, then I'd change it. Easier said than done though.

-----

I tag you, reader. :)

Rain On Me..Not.

2008-05-19T10:32:00.003+08:00

Summer has come and passed..

No, this is not a song. It's just that the summer term is over so soon and I can't get quite used to the fact that I can now sleep real early every night, and get up whatever time I want to in the morning.

I was just getting myself fully geared for acad mode, and suddenly it's all over. That is one weird thing about summer classes that I've learned from experience: you can't stall the way you do during the regular sem, you got to strut your stuff and parade your brains the first time you get. This time of the year, opportunity doesn't knock many times, and most of the time you'll be resorting to building your own door. I do hope I did well in that single subject. The prof was discussing way way too fast, as if the summer term isn't fast-paced enough to begin with.

Funny thing is, I seem to be more preoccupied with work recently than when I still had classes. Org stuff can get a whole lot more demanding than academics, seriously. Deadlines like you're gonna get grades out of it..I ought to look good in this someday. Haha.

So anyway, here comes registration again for the next semester. It's one of the most frustrating things you'll ever come across if you're a UP upperclassman. I can accept the fact that I'm no competition at all for the prioritized students (read: freshmen and graduating) in GEand PE subjects, BUT PLEASE spare spare me when I'm enlisting for a prerequisite, such as Stat 101. I will have to fight the system tooth and nail over this. Grrr. 18 units, please please please.

I think I definitely deserve to take a breather before school starts again. I haven't seen the beach yet, and it's
already raining! Arrgh. Bora, I can't believe you've been eluding me for so long. Everybody has gone on vacation and I'm still on my desk. Sad.

-----

I finished New Moon and Eclipse already, though I'd be rereading them. I think I still like Twilight the most, and I seem to like Bella less and less as the story goes on. Haha. I can't wait for the next installment Breaking Dawn, and there's also Midnight Sun, Edward's version of Twilight. And of course, the movie! I know it'll disappoint and let the book down, but still I'm hoping it's not that bad.

-----

This is so weird. I'm not superstitious or anything but when I'm brewing a plan, I'd rather keep it quiet because it might get jinxed. Haha. So here, I hope it doesn't. :)

Hooked. Or more appropriately, bitten.

2008-05-05T20:18:00.002+08:00

No spoilers. I think.

About three things I was absolutely positive.
First, Edward was a vampire.
Second, there was a part of him - and I didn't know how dominant that part might be - that thirsted for my blood.
And third, I was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him.

Yes, I've enthusiastically joined the coven. I can't get over Edward Cullen! Twilight is the first off the Twilight Saga by Stephenie Meyer, the others being New Moon and Eclipse (the fourth installment, Breaking Dawn, is bound to come out soon).

The novel doesn't exude the typical bloody-gory theme that's usually associated with vampire stories; rather, it dwells on the romance between Bella Swan and Edward Cullen - two creatures not meant to be together, yet trying to bridge a gaping hole, to transcend the level where all their differences lay just so they would be truly inseparable. They struggle to find a compromise between their two worlds, until they come to the point of realization that there are sacrifices to be done, some things have to be given up, and either way there will be painful tradeoffs.

Twilight is a refreshing take on the dark-sided romance stories, compared to those books which leave you feeling more cynical than you already are. There's nothing more contagious and seductive as the recklessness of first love coupled with the liberating feeling of danger looming when you're keeping vampires around for company. The novel even borders on emo - sick and masochistic. But that's probably a harsh way of putting it. Bella, knowing that Edward's a vampire and could therefore get her killed (or preyed on) anytime, still chooses to be with him, that is, to die, than to be separated from him. Edward on the other hand suffers as much in doing his best to curb his appetite so he would be able to get close to Bella without being as dangerous.

Using Bella's first person perspective, the novel uses a very graphic description of the characters, places, events. It's like playing a scene in your head. I get giddy a lot, it seems so accurate. Haha.

[SIDE NOTE: I'm surprised I wasn't disappointed when I found out that Robert Pattinson (Cedric Diggory in the HP movies) took Edward's role in the adaptation coming this December. I guess I couldn't imagine Edward's face when I was reading because it sounded too perfect. I couldn't think up anything that would suffice. Haha.]

However, aside from the teenage romance, I was deeply intrigued as well by the issue of Edward's immortality. When you can live forever, what do you live for? Imagine having everything you'll ever need in your lifetime - even time is not so precious a commodity anymore, you have all of it. What's still out there to strive for?

For Edward, of course, the answer would be Bella. He's never found anybody like her in his hundred years of existence, now he would never let her go.

Never? But Bella's a mortal. She's supposed to die, in time.

Oh anyway, I don't wanna give away anything here. I'll be looking forward to the sequels, and of course the movie. Stephenie Meyer's incredible.

Yes Peeking

2008-04-21T23:36:00.002+08:00

Ooh, blog! I missed you i missed you i missed you.

So here I am again blogging the night away instead of burying my head in Plato's The Republic. I managed to enlist myself in one class (SocSci 2) and a PE (Scuba Diving) this summer. Oh, Stat, I shall conquer you next sem..

SocSci2 is all about social, economic and political thought. At least the course title says so. We'll be discussing stuff about Plato and Aristotle, Thomas Aquinas and Augustine, John Locke and the empiricists, Machiavelli, Karl Marx and a whole bunch of other guys.

Sounds boring? I dunno, I've been into this sort of thing ever since I took Philo 1 in my freshman year. Contrary to boring, I actually find this subject matter interesting. So I was confident that I'd do okay.

Until I found out who my prof was. The stereotypical terror prof..oldies with nasty tempers barking out crazy demands and scaring the hell out of weak-kneed students. Considering I've taken Miranda, I daresay the terrorest of all them terror profs, I don't find my SocSci prof tantamount to him in terms of, you know, scaring ability. Nevertheless she definitely isn't the kind of person you'd like to mess with. For example, she gives out surprise quizzes about material that has been taken up, is being taken up, and has yet to be taken up. Cool, eh? I remember the recent quiz on Greek mythology I probably flunked.

That being said, I should go back to Plato.

But not after I'm done with this. XD

So anyway, I'm also taking a scuba class. Yea, as in scuba diving! The nerve of me, I couldn't even tread properly. Our class meets at some sort of dive pool outside campus (the school pool's prolly too shallow for diving).

Practicum every meeting. This afternoon we had this super underwater exercise, like on the floor of the 12ft pool. Our instructors' lectures really teach me a lot, but it's still different when you're the one down there. It's fun yet scary at the same time; and I learn a lot of practical stuff through experience. Although I thought on more than one occasion that I was going to drown. I can't swim, please please spare me. Hehe.

Had I not taken this PE, I wouldn't have known I was capable of lifting a 30-odd kg of equipment on my back. Eh halos kasing bigat ko na yun ah. Seriously, the moment they placed the whole thing on my back, I only wanted to throw myself into the water so I'd float almost effortlessly. But then we went underwater and I had to wrestle down the air tank for a safety exercise. I didn't think that's effortless anymore. Haha. Plus my fins kept on getting in the way! I had too much trouble on navigation because it suddenly seemed as if my feet had a will of their own. I swear they wouldn't freaking cooperate. So it took me ages to ascend with my supposedly unconcsious diving buddy sprawled on the pool floor.

I don't know everybody in my scuba class, but I'm cool with them, those whom I know and don't know. It's a place where strangers share regulators (I seriously hope no one got HIV), combs, toiletries, stuff like that. Plus the instructors are cool.

I have the feeling I would have loved this PE if only I knew how to swim (properly, that is). Or is it too early to tell?

-----

I recently watched Trainspotting (1996), and I liked liked liked it! The realism of low-life Edinburgh and the tragedy of the corrupted youth.

Which Trainspotting Character Are You?

Pati ba naman sa movie counterpart, underage pa rin ako? Pfft.

Random Summer Rantfest

2008-04-09T12:39:00.004+08:00

Wrong grammar in all the wrong places, bear with me.

I made like Serena van der Woodsen and had a self-imposed exile..to the internet, that is.

Parang na-time space warp ako, ewan ko ba. Thought it would take hell to freeze over for the second sem to end. All of a sudden, it's over. I still had the hangover from it all last week, so I thought going on hiatus would do me some good.

If it actually did, who knows?

I got a few theories about me being workaholic-ish.

Theory A. I look for stuff to do so I would be so busy that there'd be no time for me to contemplate about my life, because there are days that I just feel so frustrated. (Ohyes, the days.)

Theory B. I messed with my priorities.

Theory C. I feel the need to prove what I'm capable of doing, to what extent.

Theory D. I'm scared that I'd lose heart in what I'm involved in if I go too lenient. A mid-life crisis of sorts in the making.

Okay, apat lang pala.

I am currently in a weird state of mind right now - confused, hopeless, tired, none too positive. Things have been haywire at home and it makes me want to leave and let off some steam (read: not run away, that's so highschool). What to do, what to do.

On a positive note, I haven't touched cigs for more than a week now. Way to go? I think I'm having withdrawal symptoms though. Haha.

At times like this, I think of those people who were with me since then til now, and I feel a little less..weird (not lonely eh, I dunno how else to describe it). I am every bit grateful.

Oh well. I better go out and get a life.

Oh wait, I can't, cuz I'll be taking summer classes and I got org work to do.

Hate Mail

2008-03-24T20:58:00.002+08:00

Damnit. Mapapa-blog ako ng wala sa oras.

At the class' last meeting last week, I told you to contact me so we could split the labor for the final paper. I waited and waited. The holy week came and went, still no word from you. I decided to SMS you myself, I never got a reply.

Until this morning, when you asked me if I can do the paper myself because you don't have a PC at home.

What the hell were you thinking? It's supposed to be submitted tomorrow!

I am so seriously pissed off. I have final exams this week. That isn't my only subject, FYI. Plus I have other responsibilities that have due dates as well. Tangina naman oh.

I might have spared you this degree of wrath had you told me earlier. I'll do all the freaking work, okay, but do tell me in advance! Be reasonable! It's due tomorrow, as in freaking tomorrow and you're only telling me today? This isn't some three-page reaction paper, but something much more elaborate, with conceptual and theoretical framework, scope and delimitation, objectives and such. The nerve!

When I asked why you're only telling me now, what'd you say? You were loadless.

Tangina, naiinsulto talaga ko. HOW LAME CAN YOUR EXCUSE GET? Hindi mo man lang pinag-isipan ng mabuti yung alibi mo sakin. Punyeta.

I am so infuriated that smoke would have gushed out of my ears if it could. Were you counting on the fact that we knew each other from high school, you thought that I'd just shrug this off while I'm doing the paper? I'm no f*cking doormat. We were friends, I was expecting more from you! You are one self-centered tactless insensitive parasite. I can't think of anything mean enough to hurt you. Damn.

*breathes*

So I tried to cool myself down and agreed. There will be a time for bitching when all of this is over. So you told me you'd email the content right away. That was around 2:30PM.

It is 9:30PM now, seven hours later, AND THE FREAKING THING STILL ISN'T IN MY MAIL. Will you send it already! Ohmigod, I had no idea such a person could piss me off so much in a day.

Aaargh I HATE YOU SO MUCH.

Grow up, bitch. You are so f*cking inconsiderate.

Mushy

2008-03-14T00:13:00.002+08:00

A shot from the best movie I've ever seen. ;)

-----

I shall go into hardcore acad mode for the next two weeks. Papers and exams, I shall conquer you.

Lost Touch

2008-03-06T23:23:00.009+08:00

Wow.

It's been eons. Schedules for commitments have been real tight lately - with all the ton of acad work, the election period, and me getting grounded pa..haha. I am so sorry not being able to pay as much attention as before to this poor thing and the blogging realm in general.

Rundown rundown. Oh yeah, we had the university and local college student council elections this Tuesday, and ohmigod as in super ohmigod it's a PALS sweep! My party's slate took over the whole council, every single position for the undergrads. I wasn't supposed to be out late but I snuck out to watch the canvassing. We were all on tenterhooks as the last of the ballots were tallied in. My eyes never left the whiteboard, my ears pricked for every word Electoral Board member Ma'am Cabo announced.

After that came the realization that all of our candidates made it! Hindi man lang close fight. Haha. Tears of joy flooded and screams of victory erupted from every corner of the college where there was a PALS member. I wanted so badly to join the immediate celebration at the headquarters afterwards but I had to go home na. :(

-----

Oh well. The elections are over, it's time for intense focus on acads. Last week of acads next week, then the holy week, then finals week. I'm getting used to my awful eyebags since my hell month's started a few weeks ago. Darrrn.

-----

I finally got to give Paul my long-overdue Christmas and birthday gift for him.

I fell in love with these Ltd Ed Batman Oval Havaianas too. It was worth all the trouble I went through (had it shipped from the US). He was so reluctant to wear it because it was from a limited edition collection, plus ako pa daw yung nagbigay, so nag-multiply pa daw yung value.

Aww, you gotta love em. Sana naman isuot niya. Hehe.

----

PS I found that Holga Lomo in Rockwell! Sa Archaelology, sa tabi ng Analog Soul. I didn't ask for the price though. :D

Sabaw

2008-02-21T07:04:00.002+08:00

Sabaw.

Just finsihed my take-home midterm exam.

Oops, wrong. I wasn't able to finish it pala. There were gaping holes I didn't even attempt to patch up. Walang polishing. Haha mediocrity.

Still, better incomplete than zero. Ang hirap kaya gawan ng application with concrete examples, around 20 theories/models yun. In just one week. To think na hindi lang naman yun ang subject ko, and acads is not a sole commitment.

I keep on getting the feeling that this prof of mine is deliberately piling up work because it's the election period. He's just the biggest supporter of our rival party. That's why I work extra earnestly in this subject, I shouldn't give him any reason to flunk me. That means I shouldn't be slacking off.

Don't give me that look, I don't deserve that. I have not been slacking off. Would I spend all night, as in all night, not get a minute of sleep, if I were slacking off?

Of course. That's procrastination. If I haven't been slacking off I wouldn't have to resort to that. Haha labo.

Sorry sabaw lang talaga. Magagalit sakin nito si Paul eh.

What have I been up to these past few days? I attempted to work on the paper and I got real neat insights from highschool friends, one of em's from PolSc and the other's from Psych so I got a lot of inspiration. But then, 99% perspiration and 1% inspiration, so they say.

Anyway. Gotta go. Got an 830am class, and I still gotta reproduce 3 copies of the paper. Adieu.

PS I cannot digest why a bag should cost eight thousand bucks. And a bag that I'm head over heels in love with at that. Adios Star, so out of season already.

You Give Me Goosebumps.

2008-02-17T20:45:00.002+08:00

Daddy,

You were actually the biggest reason why I still considered that in spite of me.

Remembering that conversation between us is enough to bring me close to tears. Your reassurances made all the difference. The idea that you would rise to the situation, and that you were willing to get my back anytime...it's just so overwhelming, considering that we disagree on many things.

But I've reached a decision, and I hope you won't get disappointed.

Thanks, Dad. I may not say it as much, but I love you.

Blast From The Past

2008-02-11T02:04:00.000+08:00

This sure is weird. I just realized I seem to have a knack for classics/vintage stuff lately. In pop culture at least. Instead of my usual current alternative-poprock-punk-emo playlist, I've been listening to vintage mainstream. Elvis, The Beatles, Scorpions, Eagles, America, you get the picture. Plus a few ballads pa. My rents were sort of surprised when I played a CD at home with those classics which I compiled myself. They might actually start to think we're on the same wavelength. Haha.

I've also started looking for classic novels for leisurely reading. I hate this to sound so grossly intellectual but I've managed to take out Anna Karenina and Notes from Underground from the lib. I've also listed down the other books I'd like to read after I finish with those two.

Hmm. Why this paradigm shift now? I'd like to think that I'm just feeding my artsy fartsy self, being the frustrated artist that I am. Which reminds me...

I WANT A HOLGA LOMO (in red, please).

I've always been interested in creative photography (though I'd make an excuse that I never got the chance to try it myself). And I fell in love at first sight with lomography. Seeing as I can't get my hands on a LOMO now, I settled with faking a lomograph - of course, with the very useful Adobe Photoshop. Ah, the satisfaction. (See my current avatar. :D)

-----

Roselle gave me this! Thank you, and happy hearts day in advance too. :)

I regret not being able to do my blog rounds regularly, I hardly get the time (yeah right). Hopefully I can do that more often.

-----

Random post. NOW I GOTTA GO SLEEP. UP fair, UP fair..

The World is So Unfair

2008-02-08T13:14:00.000+08:00

Darn. The UP Fair week's next week na.

Monday. Loverage 2: Out Loud featuring Bamboo, Parokya ni Edgar, Kamikazee, 6Cyclemind, MYMP, UPdharmadown, Itchyworms, Kitchie Nadal, Imago, Chicosci, Stonefree, Moonstar88, Silent Sanctuary, Mayonnaise, Soapdish, Shamrock, Gloc 9, Cookie Chua, Queso, Treadstone, Blue Ketchup, Protein Shake, Ciudad, Fuse, Paraluman, Manibela, Chubibo, Tha-R, Zelle, and many more.

Tuesday. Rakestra 2008: Lost in Oblivion featuring Sandwich, Urbandub with the Manila Philharmonic Orchestra, Parokya ni Edgar, Kamikazee, 6Cycle Mind, Sugarfree, Itchyworms, Moonstar88, Chicosci, Silent Sanctuary, Callalily, Hale, Imago, Mojofly, Rocksteddy, Mayonnaise, The Dawn, Slapshock, Radioactive Sago Project, Kiko Machine, Pedicab, Hilera, Pinup Girls, Ciudad, Chilitees, Taken by Cars, Cambio, Manibela, Zelle, Boy Elroy, Oi Wag D2, Bembol Rockers, The Dorques, Angulo, Too Late The Hero, Duster, Aizo, Bagetsafonik, The Ronnies, Concrete Sam, El Mercurio, Peryodiko and many more.

Wednesday. Rock-Love-An Sandaan: Kami N'APO Ulit featuring Sugarfree, Spongecola, Typecast, Callalily, Silent Sanctuary, Urbandub, Barbie Almalbis, Imago, 6cyclemind, Itchyworms, Hale, Greyhoundz, Proteinshake, Pedicab, Kjwan, Soapdish, Stonefree, Mayonnaise, Fuse, Mojofly, RockSteddy, ChicoSci, Check, Melanie, Hilera, VinceNoir, Paraluman, Manibela, Ciudad, Blue Ketchup, and many more.

Thursday. Sisfire6: A Full Blast Love Affair featuring Kamikazee, Urbandub, Rivermaya, Sugarfree, Chicosci, Imago, Stonefree, Up Dharma Down, Mojofly, Radioactive Sago Project, Silent Sanctuary, Juana, Giniling Festival, Moonstar 88, Chubibo, Session Road, Purple Chickens, Pumping Pluto, Salamin, Tragic Comic, Dalandan Soda, Jeebus, Hija, Blue Boy Bites Back, Ksscrew, Gatecrash with Nadia, Candelabra, Falling at Zero Degrees, PDI and many more.

Friday. I dunno..some USC-sponsored event.

Satuday. Eufairia: 100 Years at the Edge of Sanity featuring Urbandub, The Dawn, Pupil, Slapshock, Kjwan, Queso, Greyhoundz, Chicosci, Kiko Machine, Stonefree, Acel, Sugarfree, Moonstar 88, Mojofly, Paramita, Hilera, Cambio, Chubibo, Giniling Festival, Datu's Tribe, The Wudz, The Jerks, Radioactive Sago Project, Aizo, Cathexis, Sunflower Day Camp, Threadstone, Fuse, Ursaminor, Nycty Nasty, Kampai, and many more.

Tickets @ Php85. All-week long.

AND THE SICK THING IS I HAVE MY OWN SKED:

Thursday. PA111 midterm exam.

Saturday. Second long exam in Accounting.

Waaaah. Noooo. Please. I CANNOT miss the centennial fair. Even just one night. Just one night.

Please.

Bystander Apathy

2008-02-04T01:25:00.000+08:00

Me and my orgmates were bored one afternoon so we resorted to massive camwhoring.

I really liked how this one shot turned out, so I went full speed ahead..

..and made it oh-so-emo. Which is my current headshot in Multiply. :D

Disclaimer: Hindi ako emo. Sorry.

Utot Mo Moto.

2008-02-01T01:07:00.000+08:00

My MotoRazr v3x gave up on me quite recently. It's been out of condition for months and months now, but I refused to get a replacement then.

First was the outer screen. It's supposed to have some power-saving function, because it's the one that lights up when you shut the phone. Since it's smaller than the real screen, I use that for checking the time, messages, missed calls, manage the mp3 player and so on without actually flipping open the phone. And that saves battery time if you tend to do those things real often. But as I was saying, it just stopped working one day. It doesn't light up when I close the phone. Then I realized it doesn't even seem to know that I closed it, because the internal screen's still working even if it's closed. That must be the syndrome Moto flip phones have that I've been warned of.

Next was the camera! Darrrrrn. I was so frustrated when this happened, as I was the camwhore type but didn't bring a cam to school or anywhere. 2.0MP wasn't bad at all, plus it's got an internal VGA cam to boot. The stream of memories I've been trying to capture was brought to an end. For the duration of the camphone's life, at least. Oh yes I am so freaking sentimental over this.

I also noticed these bouts of weirdness when it just restarts on its own, as in no outside intervention or anything. Episodes of blackouts were also common. I couldn't access a feature, say the videocam, because the screen just blacks out and I can't turn it off using the power button. Meaning, I had to crack it open and pull out the battery to cut power and turn it off. Then I'd put it back and turn it on all over again. Great.

The most recent of the misadventures of my dear mobile phone was when its processing slowed down during normal operation. AS IN IT JUST SLOWED DOWN. No one of my friends wanted to use it if they needed to text or whatever, it was so freaking slow. But then I got used to it eventually.

So at that point in time, I've been using the v3x mainly for texting and calling purposes only. I stopped using the mp3 player already since my earphones went out long long ago and I didn't bother to get a new one, and the speaker was so awful already, probably the result of being dropped/subjected to shock/handled inappropriately for quite a number of times. To cap it off, not even a year has passed but it looked like a ruin already because of the reason/s cited above. The smooth rubbery coating on the face plate was peeling off, and a new face plate cost two thousand freaking pesos. No, thanks.

And then, one day, I was trying to turn it on. But it simply wouldn't budge. It's like it was telling me that I ought to forgive the poor thing and let it rest, as it fell into a state of a disrepair after only a relatively short period of time. And I never cared to have it fixed.

Minutes ago, before I started typing this entry, I was updating my sim contacts as I am now using a cheapskate phone I scavenged somewhere here. I managed to make the v3x work for one last time, just so I can transfer my phone contacts to the PC (the sim card couldn't hold any more). BOY IT WAS TEDIOUS. I hope Moto came up with software that can export my contacts properly to an Address Book file. CSV would be even better. The one that Moto has doesn't offer options for editing like if there are duplicates. So some of the numbers in my phone book got written over. Hay. How am I supposed to recover all of them?

If I ever do get a new phone soon (I do hope so. Haha), this is what I shall keep in mind:

NEVER EVER GET A MOTO AGAIN.

OI, YOU!

2008-01-30T19:16:00.000+08:00

Aaaaack. It's now past seven. THIS EFFING SKIN TOOK ME AROUND SIX HOURS TO TWEAK.

Plus I can't get to work my comments page. Apparently I can't use HaloScan either.

Grrrrr. Need pro help. Huhuhu.

Sorry, Sweeney. You've got Mrs. Lovett anyway.

2008-01-28T00:37:00.000+08:00

Found this at starstore.com as I was surfing the net.

Pirates of the Caribbean Jack Sparrow figures with sound - 18 inch Smiling Jack Sparrow Action Figure

Johnny Depp figures - 18 inch Pirates of the Caribbean Jack Sparrow figures with sound. These highly detailed Jack Sparrow action figures have 10 points of articulation. they also come with a variety of acessories. Collect them both - Smiling Jack and Serious Jack!Articulation: Ball Jointed Neck and Shoulders, Swivel Forearms, Wrists, Waist, BootsAccessories Include: Sword, Pistol, Compass, Hat, Rum BottleAlternate Left HandPackaging: Window Box"Smiling Jack Sparrow" features more light hearted comedic dialogue including:"Me? I'm dishonest, and a dishonest man you can always trust to be dishonest, honestly""Welcome to the Caribbean, Luv.""On deck, you scabrous dogs! Hands to braces! Let go and haul to run free! Now... bring me that horizon." And more!From the hit movie Pirates of the Caribbean comes Captain Jack Sparrow, featuring an amazing likeness and detail. This finely-crafted figure…stands 18" tall comes with a trusty pistol, sword, and compass along with a removable hat sports a ball-jointed neck and shoulders along with articulation at the forearms, wrists, waist, and boots features a motion activated sound chip that plays actual movie dialogue.

And this one's from Entertainment Earth:

Wear a piece of the movie! This is an exact replica of the original coin worn by Elizabeth Swann in the Pirates of the Caribbean movies. It's 24-karat gold plated with an antique finish to further define its intricate details. The front of the coin features the customary pirate symbol of a skull, while the reverse shows a traditional Aztec symbol. Is it truly the missing piece of the cursed Aztec treasure? Also included is a custom 18-inch princess-length chain with fish-hook clasp that replicates the necklace worn in the movie. Deep in a mysterious cavern, stands an ancient chest filled with Aztec coins and guarded by pirates who are doomed to wander the seven seas as ghosts until all 882 pieces have been returned. They've found 881. The last one hangs as a medallion around the neck of Elizabeth Swann. During the 18th century, the Caribbean (also called "The Spanish Main") was known as the "Treasure House of the World" because all the wealth of Spain's New World colonies was shipped across its waters. It's easy to imagine coins minted from the gold that Cortez stole from the Aztec civilization falling into pirate hands and becoming the stuff of which legends are made.

-----

I still like Jack Sparrow over Sweeney Todd. At least Jack's got a crazy sense of humor. :)

Too Long A Road to Ruin

2008-01-23T15:46:00.000+08:00

Sana walang nangyayaring brainwashing at imposing of personal ideals.

Kaso ako rin naman ang nagsimula eh.

The F Bandwagon

2008-01-20T19:21:00.000+08:00

I watched The Golden Compass quite some time ago, and I instantly fell in love with the armored bear Iorek Byrnison. The effin movie made me cry at the fight scene between Iorek and then-leader of the armored bears, Iofur Raknison. I got so attached to Iorek that by the end of the movie, I was actually depressed that it was impossible to own, or encounter at the least, polar bears.

Until recently, I stumbled upon this application on Facebook called (fluff)Friends. I picked a Poley Bear, and guess what name I gave him.

Of course, Iorek Byrnison! Because of that, Facebook is <3. Hop over to my Facebook and send my Iorek some love :D

I also tried out this app called Booze Mail. Amazing. They got a wide selection of drinks, from champagne, to strawberry daiquiri, to tequila, to beer. They even got Butterbeer and Firewhisky. They also got non-alcoholics like Coffee, Hot Chocolate and Earl Grey Tea. It's fun cuz you get to send drinks to your friends, and vice versa. So go ahead and send me a beer, it's free. :D

Happy Centennial, UP! :)

2008-01-18T00:04:00.000+08:00

1. Student number?
06-2***7

2. College?
UP National College of Public Administration and Governance

3. Course?
BA Public Administration

4. Nag-shift ka ba o na-kickout?
Original BAPA

5. Saan ka kumuha ng UPCAT?
Bocobo Hall (Law Center) sa Diliman

6. Favorite GE subject?
Philo 1? SocSci series? Film 12?

7. Favorite PE?
Orienteering. Sir Dizer!

8. Saan ka nag-aabang ng hot guy sa UP?
Hmm, AS? Katip? Oops within campus lang pala.

9. Favorite prof(s)
THE Felipe Miranda, PolSci 11. Redefines "terror prof". Haha

10. Pinaka-ayaw na GE subject.
NatSci1. Whoever thought of merging Chem and Physics?!?

11. Kumuha ka ba ng Wed or Sat classes?
Wednesday, for CWTS.

12. Nakapag-field trip ka ba?
Yep. Went to Laguna for Geog, Manila (loser) for Kas, Zambales and Batangas for Orienteering campouts.

13. Naging CS ka na ba or US sa UP?
Never been US.

14. Ano ang Org/Frat/Soro mo?
UP Circle of Administrators, Practice of Administrative Leadership and Service

15. Saan ka tumatambay palagi?
Usually sa NCPAG..Circa tambayan, lib, 1896, lobby, atrium. I miss hanging out at the Sunken Garden though.

16. Dorm, Boarding house, o Bahay?
Aunt's house

17. Kung walang UPCAT test at malaya kang nakapili ng kurso mo sa UP, ano yun (Given ang mentality mo nung HS ka)?
Hmm, Fine Arts? Haha feeling. Probably MassCom courses.

18. Sino ang pinaka-una mong nakilala sa UP?
Uh, can't remember.

19. First play na napanood mo sa UP?
Hamlet?

20. Name the 5 most conyo orgs in UP
Hindi ako aware. Haha

21. Name 5 of the coolest orgs/frats/soro in UP.
Refer to #20

22. May frat/soro bang nag-recruit sa yo?
Yeah

23. Saan ka madalas mag-lunch?
Among others, my fave would be at the NISMED canteen.

24. Masaya ba sa UP?
Understatement!

25. Nakasama ka na ba sa rally?
Never pa

26. Ilang beses ka bumoto sa Student
Once

27. Name at least 5 leftist groups in UP
Lemme guess. Stand-UP? Anak Pawis? Anak Bayan? Gabriela? Shet kulang ako ng isa.

28. Pinangarap mo rin bang mag-laude
nung freshman ka?
Yeah ;)

29. Kanino ka pinaka-patay sa UP?
Sir Saguil? Pagdating ng PA143?

30. Kung di ka UP, anong school ka?
UST I guess.

The Cure

2008-01-16T14:21:00.000+08:00

I woke up crying from an awful dream this morning, so I tried to shake the feeling off with a few episodes of That '70s Show.

Red Forman (to his wife Kitty): That's totally different! He ignored Jackie for a stupid job, I ignored you for a car! Crap.

-----

Hyde (to Jackie): But if I didn't know you, and never talked to you, I'd think you were totally hot.

-----

Some girl: Hey!
Eric: Uh..I go by Eric now.
Jackie: She doesn't care what your name is. She's a cheerleader.

Oh yes, the laugh trip did help.

Because we're unlike any other

2008-01-06T22:49:00.000+08:00

On the phone...

Me: Inaantok ka na. Tulog ka na.
Paul: Okay..sige..ikaw magddrive?
Me: (chuckles) O sige, ako magddrive.
Paul: San tayo pupunta?
Me: San mo gusto?

Haha, labo. Saya kausap ng alter-ego ni Paul.

-----

Yay! I got my net connection back. :)

-----

I'll be leaving tomorrow PM for my Aunt's wedding in Bicol on Tuesday (me = bridesmaid). I'll be coming back to Manila on Wednesday, which means I won't be around to witness and participate in the UP System Centennial Kick-off on Tuesday. Huhuhu.

-----

Got myself a new template. Pull the tag ;)

Still a latecomer

2008-01-04T10:54:00.000+08:00

Happy Nu Year! Belated.

Ugh. Late update. Bayantel's so crappy, I haven't got an internet connection at home. Huhuhu.

you can't fake it hard enough to please.

2007-12-19T01:25:00.000+08:00

god, it sucks, this sucks.

imagine being happy and yet getting the feeling that you're not supposed to be.

i just feel so miserable that i seem to live in two different worlds, and that one cannot co-exist with another, that the elements of one should be extinguished when i'm living in the other. ang nakakalungkot, all of these things constitute who i am, so it's like i have to shut down some part of me when i'm doing this, when i'm doing that. even feelings cannot be carried over, there's no such thing as legitimate happiness. either way there are tradeoffs, hindi talaga pwedeng masatisfy ang dalawang bagay at the same time. i mean, i know you don't care about this part of me so why would i even bother to talk about it, right? ohmigod i'm actually looking for approval, ohmigod what's so wrong with me?

it's just sad, the way i don't want to complain, the way i can't freaking spill my heart out here, cuz i don't want to be confronted, cuz i'm scared this'll be taken the wrong way. everything's great, really, yet it's depressing the way i can't seek refuge from things that apparently, only i care about. or maybe i myself dunno what i want to happen. why can't i be the person i am?

and yet, and yet after all these things in mind I KEEP MUM. the only person who can remedy the situation is me, i know, but again, i'm scared that things might end up worse than before i attempted getting things right. i don't want to ask to change things as they are now, i want them to happen on their own. it'd better come from within.

another reason why i don't want to talk about this is because i don't have anything to back this up, i know i did a lot of things wrong one way or another. and yet i discard this logic, i rely too much on how i feel, regardless of whether it makes sense or not.

i thought i could live with this, but early as now i can't keep up. what more in the future? if there's such a thing.

but then again, i don't know if i want things to change.

i'm too scared. and too starry-eyed. i think i know why i've been losing drive for everyday lately. but i don't want to think that i have actually started doing things for approval rather than for personal satisfaction. that'd be the end of me.

years go by, and still i sit here feeling those same things i felt way before. i hate to admit that i knew it all along. i'm still the misunderstood kid i was before.

-----

again, i know this darkness will endure.

Semi-tipsy entry

2007-12-16T23:39:00.000+08:00

HOMIGOD HE SAW IT!!!!!

Oh well. I'll just pretend I didn't know until he gets it. :)

-----

Tangenuh hindi madaling gumawa ng paper pag nakainom. Wish me luck.

CHILLAX: Coffee. Carols. Christmas.

2007-12-12T18:49:00.000+08:00

Punta kayo! See you there! :)

Supergirl Complex #1

2007-12-11T18:04:00.000+08:00

Darn. I'm pretty sure this Kas prof of mine is gonna be one huge influence on me.

At first, I wasn't impressed by the way he's teaching, I almost even saw him as an airhead who can't really prove anything. But as the days went by, I realized his bragging was true, his passion was so highly infectious that I ended up teary-eyed in class the other day when he explicitly implied that this generation is such a disappointment.

And I believe that holds true.

Darn, I don't think I've ever been this frustrated in my life. Lots of internal conflicts going on, screwing up my priorities again, and not being able to rant all about this.

I wanted to ditch this Supergirl complex cuz it messes up everything, but the spark it's created is so different. Even words are failing me.

How I wish everyone felt this way too.

I feel so selfish already. :'(

-----

I label this depression, for I know for a fact that this darkness will endure.

:(

2007-12-06T22:01:00.000+08:00

Oh.

Guilty.

Guilty.

Guilty.

Sorry pare.

Shit, guilt rush talaga. I took that question as foul and invasive, to think that he was just concerned about me. To think that he was one of those really few people whom I could talk to during those ohmigod-what-am-I-gonna-do times way way way before. To think that I wouldn't have gotten through all those troubles and worries without his help.

And now, and now..

It's just like my loyalty's shifted.

That's not what I meant or intended. Sorry talaga, sorry.

Darn, siya pa tuloy yung napasama.

Grabe, I feel so guilty for having so little time. Parang nakalimutan ko na sila. Grabe. Ayoko ng ganun. Ayoko.

Hay, tangina, ang lungkot ng feeling. Miss ko na sila.

Nobody here can live forever.

2007-12-04T00:48:00.000+08:00

Achievement! Natawid ko na ang Quezon Ave.

Felt so good. :)

I guess I should've heard of that from you.

2007-11-30T12:42:00.000+08:00

Weird.

Masaya na ko ulit.

Haha.

Steff's birthday celeb later.

Woot. A break I've been needing so much.

BUT I've been trying to fend off procrastination to no avail.

Ung Tagalog

2007-11-29T01:26:00.000+08:00

Hay.

Hindi ko na alam.

Mahirap.

Malungkot.

Have I been trying too hard?

Am I doing badly so far?

This is the only time I have done this after such a long time.

Goosebumps. Insomnia. No yosi. The cool bed weather.

Haven't touched my readings for tomorrow.

WTF am I doing with myself???

It's so easy to fake smiles.

Beaching dreams in between deadlines

2007-11-27T20:50:00.000+08:00

ME WANT BEACH.

When I feel super stressed out from school or org work, I long for the days when I can just lie on the shore and feel the gentle ripple of the water against my head. Like it washes away all traces of worry, stress, all the clutter in your mind. I still miss Bora, after all.

These days I hardly ever have time to clear my head. I need (and deserve!) a break, but obviously the time for that isn't now.

-----

I'm hooked on The String Quartet tribute albums now. It's the perfect venue for my passion for rock music and my frustration in learning violin. God, they are so effin great.

of smiles, tears, and not-so-boring routines

2007-11-23T00:24:00.000+08:00

This week has been pretty much of a daze.

I can't believe acad work's already piling up this early. I only have two major subjects this sem, two required, one GE, and my readings are already around two inches thick. To cap it off, I should have read them all by next week.

Gosh.

Things have fallen into some sort of routine now for me. Open my eyes at 6AM, hit the snooze button, doze for another few minutes or so, finally get up around 7AM, force myself to take a bath with the freezing water, get dressed in a rush, go to school, arrive late at my first class, try to act like I was prepared for recit, doodle my boyfriend's name, take notes, fool around, then go to the next class. I must say, the principles of bullshit-ing have been a bit of help.

Being with orgmates gives me some refuge as well, although sometimes they're not helping when they told me in a rather amused manner about a classmate of theirs who fainted right on the day of the final exams because he crammed studying for Saguil's 111 (which I am taking right now) and didn't get enough sleep.

I always plan to grab a cup of coffee after class, so I could complete all 24 stickers for the planner soon, but the bad weather always ruins that plan and I end up going straight home instead (oh yes, so not me). Turn on the PC, surf the net a bit, have dinner, go upstairs to deal with my ton of readings, wait for Paul to call. I wouldn't have been able to endure all this if I didn't have him to talk to, to share stories and to laugh with at the end of the day. It makes me feel like I have some purpose in the world because I can make somebody happy just by loving him.

After the phone call, I get back to my readings, try to stay awake as much as I can with the aid of too many servings of coffee, chocolates, NU107 and the occasional yosi. Recently I stopped this reflex (?) of looking at the time, because if I see that it's already 3AM, I would undoubtedly be induced to stop reading and hit the sheets. But I shouldn't. That's hara kiri. So my normal bedtime's in the wee hours of the morning. Don't ask me how many hours I get every night. There was even a time I slept right at my desk just to make sure that I don't oversleep so I could go to class on time.

But sometimes things get out of hand. Orgmates flood your phone with text brigs announcing an emergency meeting after classes late in the afternoon, with an agenda so critical and urgent that you just can't not go. For a while you're supposed to forget the ton of photocopied readings you're carrying in your hands and focus on work. There are concepts to be formulated, tasks to be completed. All with deadlines. All with the pile of acads waiting for your time and attention.

The meeting takes longer than expected and it's already a bit late. For sure your boyfriend (yes, not your mum) is gonna kill you for staying out this late without any sure means of how you're getting home. You had no chance to tell him all the details because your phone ran out of batteries hours ago. When you finally get home and call him, he's mad at you, and that's perfectly understandable because what you did was just so not right.

But after accusations of sorts, long awkward silences and a bit of drama, it feels good to know that he got angry because he was worrying about you too much and because you broke you promise not to make him worry again. You're meant to feel guilty because you know damn well he loves you. Look what you did.

It sucks to get emotional if your cousins and uncle who are not supposed to have any idea of your boy's existence are around you. I got a pat on the back from Vlad and seemed to ask if I was okay. I smiled at him and he retreated, saying stupid but funny things that made me feel better all the same.

Thankfully we were cool after a while, and the sweet nothings we used to mush about seemed a lot more sweeter, had much more mush factor after a fight. But it doesn't mean that I'd be picking fights with him every now and then just so I would feel good after - that would definitely defeat the purpose of it. I dunno, maybe like the song says, I love you more today than yesterday, but not as much as tomorrow.

Tomorrow, there would still be so many many many many things to do, and I'd carry on my routine, which I'm probably okay with now because of the little but special things that serve as the embellishments on an otherwise dull and boring canvas. Maybe having someone you love who loves you back makes all the difference. :)

buffer

2007-11-09T01:15:00.000+08:00

tangenuh ng bagong sistema ng registration.

first, i went to NCPAG to get my form 5A. in all of the 3 CRS batch runs, i only got 12 units. shit. i went straight to the college adviser for pre-advising. and f*cker, ayaw pa kong payagan mag-111 ni saguil. he reasoned that i was only in second year standing, and according to the curriculum we shouldn't be taking that til next year. darn, bakit yung iba kong batchmates, pinayagan? they kept on giving recommendations - socio 11, psych 101, fil 25, polsc 11 - ALL of which i have already taken in the previous semesters. i guess they had no choice. hello, 12 units pa lang ako, tapos icacancel mo pa yung isang subject?!?

and take note, yung prof ko sa 111 is none other than dan saguil himself.

anyway, after pre-advising, i went to the lib for enlistment. we have these daily batch runs, just like the pre-enlistment season. students get to enlist the subjects they need til 4PM. the entirely stupid thing is that 06 students are scheduled for thursday, meaning kami yung least na priority sa lahat ng batches. monday - seniors, graduating studes, tuesday - freshmen, wednesday - juniors. malamang naman, iilan na lang ang matitirang slots sa sophomores nyan. that is, kung meron pang matira at all. when it came my turn, most GE classes were already closed, or kung open pa, it's like 1 available slot with a 700+ demand. f*cker talaga.

after 4PM, processing, then results would be available by 9PM outside dilnet.

after nun, hindi ko na alam, kasi hanggang dun lang ang natapos ko.

badtrip talaga. imagine, alas onse pa lang tapos na yung araw ko. so not productive. they're keeping us on tenterhooks, lahat ng 700+ na yun, umaasang sila yung makukuha sa kaisa-isang natitirang slot.

f*cker.

another idiotic scheme is the prerog phase next week. it's gonna be like enlistment din, pero ang alam ko, students would be going to the colleges/units offering the subject they wanna prerog in. too bad for people like me who still need GE's, pipila pa sa AS or somewhere else. tapos online din xa, which kinda defeats the purpose of the "teacher's prerogative". there would be daily batch runs rin, as in halos enlistment rin. badtrip.

and the thing is CLASSES START TOMORROW. i won't dare not coming to the first meeting; there's a threat na you may risk losing your slot if you don't show up the first day.

arrrrggggh. nakakainis.

but when i went to see paul later in the afternoon, i didn't feel at all that i had been really really pissed off that morning. imagine if not for him, my bad mood would've lasted throughout the day. i would've snapped at countless people and i would probably leave them wondering if i was just having a bad case of PMS.

i just need to be with him, and everything gets romanticized. walang stress, parang walang problema. sigh. i'm so lucky for having you.

faith

2007-11-08T09:25:00.000+08:00

i just remembered. me and my friends were talking the other day and one of em said something like, "feeling ko tuloy blessed ako."

that statement makes impact (and sense) if you consider that he's an atheist.

haha.

standard lines

2007-11-08T08:35:00.000+08:00

Finally! Not anymore deprived of an internet connection.

Been trying to come up with something decent over the sembreak, and I got inspired by DC.

But this new diet's liquid
And dulling to the senses
And it's screwed.
But it will do.

I wanna learn doing vector art. Sigh. So many things to do, so little time.

Sad

2007-10-30T18:20:00.000+08:00

Frustrations.

Disappointments.

Regrets.

PALS goes to Romblon and Bora!

2007-10-27T15:27:00.000+08:00

We've already gone there and back, and the fact still takes so long to sink in.

Romblon and Bora! Woot!

PALS Execom in Bora

Hoping to get a nice tan

I posted pics on my multiply. :)

I love PALS! Even without the tequila. ;p

mischief. mayhem. soap.

2007-10-16T01:09:00.000+08:00

tyler durden is gonna miss me when i die.

'What will your obituary say?' at QuizGalaxy.com

yes, i haven't gotten over fight club yet.

Screech.

2007-10-13T00:20:00.000+08:00

after a full week of nonstop sleepless nights, i'm suddenly skidding to a stop.

just the report for psych on monday and i'm all done. hello sembreak.

i can hardly believe the sem's over. almost.

i wonder how i'm supposed to get my sleeping habits back to normal. this past week i've been going to bed the hour other people are already getting up. no kidding. no exaggeration. i probably look awful.

saying it's stressful is a freaking underestimation. i am totally grateful to my three best friends who kept me sane all throughout my hell week, which i call the big C's: coffee, cigarettes, and concealer. i was on a tight budget though so i drank homemade brewed coffee, smoked cheap P2/stick cigarettes and applied cheap concealer under my eyes.

i got a telling from paul the other day when i told him about them things, suggesting that i change those C's to chocolates, concealer, and castro instead. hahahaha. i guess the castro part's perpetual, it's way more important than my big C's. :)

yes, i admit that all of this stress and pressure probably stems from procrastination. i've been slacking off when i had lots of free time, hell, i was even COMPLAINING about the lack of things to do. wrong.

on other days, i would've thought, hey, where's the fun in being such a straight arrow? but i couldn't, this time it sucked, it totally did. three major papers due the day after tomorrow and i haven't even started? it was a freaking nightmare. i would never dream of doing that again. i seriously have to reconsider my study habits and review my priorities. i am so slacking off and this is gonna get me nowhere.

if i would fail in my undertakings (and i surely hope not the major ones) i'm gonna take all responsibility. no excuses like i got bad grades because my orgs invaded too much of my time, because the prof was, like, einstein, those kinds of bullshit.

it's time to get my act together, i owe too many things to too many people. and above all to myself. but i don't want to take things for granted. no. no. no.

i don't mean that i haven't any room for failure, sometimes it's when you fail that you learn the biggest lessons. i just wanted to make sure that if i do, i don't have any regrets because i know that i gave what i could and did what i think was best.

this is probably what true independence means to me. not moving out of your parents' place, not getting your own paycheck to support yourself with. it's taking responsibility for your actions and upholding your own ideals, to hell with what other people say. we don't always need to reach a compromise with other people and still have healthy relationships with them.

i hope i'd get there someday.

-----

this is what this damn week has done to me: hardcore thinking about thinking to the point of ranting shit like this on a public blog. my sincerest apologies. i suddenly hoped this was a requirement, an academic paper. i had written too much.

tengenuh. i need a break from the PC for at least a week.

I Know It's Time.

2007-10-10T01:02:00.000+08:00

Quoted from The Rule of Four by Ian Caldwell and Dustin Thomason:

Strange thing, time. It weighs most on those who have it least. Nothing is lighter than being young with the world on your shoulders; it gives you a feeling of possibility so seductive, you know there must be something more important you could be doing than studying for exams.

Can't be truer for college kids during hell weeks.

Erratum

2007-10-03T18:57:00.000+08:00

Shit. I'm in blogger? Again? I should be doing something else. Lots of something elses. Parang si Gollum lang. Haha.

Anyhow, I read at some blog about UP getting the top prize at this year's cheerdance competition and yet bano sila sa UAAP.

For everyone's benefit, most especially for those who aren't aware, sa men's basketball lang bano ang UP. Champs na ang swimming team. The Lady Maroons naman lost to the Lady Eagles in basketball sa championships, pero hindi bano. And the list goes on. We actually have a healthy chance of getting into the top contenders (kung wala pa).

Ang yabang ko nanaman. Haha.

Ay. Shet. Gotta get my ass moving.

Goodbyes

2007-10-02T12:07:00.001+08:00

I think I'll be saying goodbye to a few things this week:

Goodbye Juvie Hall. Our trips to Molave (the juvenile delinquent detainment facility) have now come to a close. Only lately I've realized that I've been visiting them kids not just for the credit hours, but for the experience itself as well. I haven't really developed an attachment for them or the institution. It's just that it served as some sort of reality-checker for me that I was indeed lucky I didn't end up being one of them. Imagine having to celebrate your eighteenth birthday in jail..it made me appreciate my blessings all the more.

Goodbye high marks in Psych101. Of all requirements, the one I couldn't satisfy was the no-brainer. I'm short on the credit hours for participation in experiments. Credit sheets are due on Friday, and the chance that I could walk into some experiment til Friday is thisclose to zero. Sayang.

Goodbye to standoffish apathetic attitude. Pahirapan mag-recruit. Dammit. Argh. Can't spill though. The fever's rising soon.

I thought I hated figurative language.

-----

Congratulations to me for dressing up this blog. Goodbye blogskins, hello new template! I heart Pannasmontata! :)

-----

Am currently hooked on Bamboo's second album Light Peace Love.

All these years, I never really knew what love is
I found you
I found you.

PS DC's new album's out now!

Titanic: The Sequel

2007-09-28T19:40:00.000+08:00

Two words: EFFING COOL.

rawr

2007-09-21T01:51:00.000+08:00

Setting: 0158AM. Simply Jessie and Your Song on eternal repeat, downing a cold cup of coffee.

Tangina wala na ko sa mood matulog. Badtrip yung groupmate ko sa Film.

Ay hindi lang pala isa. Badtrip sila lahat in general.

Haha grabe lang ako pa yung badtrip. Ako na nga yung hindi sumunod sa deadline.

Sine-stress nila ko e birthday pa naman namin today.

(I meant kahapon. 21 na pala. )

Grabe, I wouldn't know what to do if Paul wasn't around.

I am so not making sense

2007-09-19T12:49:00.000+08:00

Here I go again, uncertain.

I'm so happy it scares me.

I'm scared that I'd get too comfy with what I have now that I'd choose not to make radical decisions that might disturb this equilibrium I'm in.

I'm scared that I might lose heart, that I might cease to believe in a cause I once thought was worth fighting for.

I'm scared that I might get too starry-eyed, too romanticized to turn a blind eye to what's happening.

~~I'm scared that I might turn into one of those too insensitive people who only cared about trivial things~~

All because I know I've been cushioned from a pain I might have been feeling if conditions were otherwise.

It's in human nature to strive for freedom from pain.

And yet..

And yet..

Somehow I think that's not how I want to end up.

maroon pride

2007-09-16T21:49:00.000+08:00

Gosh. Iba lang talaga yung rush that overcame me when I was watching the Cheerdance Competition kanina. A strange mix of adrenaline and pride. So ayun, ang yabang ko. Ang yabang namin. Cheers to the champs, the UP Pep Squad! :)

The UP Pep was second in line, right after La Salle (who staged a pretty lousy performance if you ask me). Galing ng UP, as in shet. Maybe I'm already a biased spectator but still it was super synchronized, nearly flawless. Will post a link to a video soon as I find one. :)

Haven't gotten over it yet, obviously.

Sobrang yabang ng UP crowd kanina talaga. UST had this banner which read "Kami po ang Unibersidad ng Santo Tomas", tapos the UP people replied with one which said "So? UP kami. Sa'n ka pa?"

Whoever made that was a genius.

Maroon pride, Maroon pride. I never thought that such a one-liner (with only two words at that) could say everything: UP kami. The pride attached to the name, to the label, iba talaga.

Fuck I can't help but brag.

But I seriously think that FEU deserved that first runner-up place being savored by UST now. We all thought FEU was UP's top contender, when they were announced as the third placer kinabahan kami, who else would make it? Unfair. Here goes politics yet again.

Kahit 0-14 sweep yung sa men's basketball, ayos lang. Haha.

School-bragging (for us) and school-bashing (for them) messages flooded in shortly afterwards, stuff like "Huwag dadaan sa España, bumabaha ng luha." Haha. Meanie.

Ang sakit sa ulo sumigaw, nakakagutom, nakakastress pumila, nakakastress manuod (I was in upper B SRO, on tiptoes nearly all the time), but it was all worth it. UP so freaking rocks.

me want jack for christmas

2007-09-15T15:05:00.000+08:00

Another addition to my ultra extensive wishlist: a Jack Skellington stuffed toy! Me and my orgmates found this at some gift shop at Trinoma, for only around 500php - a total steal! Must have this for Christmas (no matter how ironic. Haha).

and this smile lingers in my dreams

2007-09-15T00:34:00.000+08:00

Know what the best part is?

It's the way every encounter feels just like the first time. :)

haunted by paranoia

2007-09-13T23:12:00.000+08:00

Frustrating, yes.

Why can't I be the person I want to be for him?

rawr

2007-09-12T21:40:00.000+08:00

Tangina ang sama ng loob ko. Three birthdays na ang hindi ko mapupuntahan cuz of org activities.

AND OTHER THAN THAT, I am acting so effing immature again. Sheeeeeesh. Gotta let off some steam.

DC is love

2007-09-10T20:18:00.000+08:00

Chris Carrabba is back! Yep, his first solo tour in five years. Watch out for DC's next album The Shade of Poison Trees, in stores Oct 2. :)

and I sleep with a smile on my face

2007-09-07T01:56:00.000+08:00

He tells me I'm pretty even when I know I'm not.

It feels so good to love and be loved. :)

But your taste still lingers on my lips like I just placed them upon yours, and I starve for you.

justice for cris mendez!

2007-09-04T16:11:00.000+08:00

August 27, Monday. A Public Ad student and NCPAG SC councilor in his senior year died of alleged hazing under the Sigma Rho Fraternity. Then a young man with big dreams, Cris Anthony Mendez is now gone.

And justice ought to be served.

The university has become a site of relentless brutality.

It was supposed to be a rite of passage to "toughen" the weak. Yet, in a malevolent turn of events, neophyte Cris Mendez was neither strengthened nor empowered. Instead, news of his death was met with a mixture of disbelief, sorrow and a gnawing anger over the futility of the loss.

Clearly, within fraternities thrives a culture incongruous with the logic of justice. yet, this brutality has virtually become an impregnable practice in the "brotherhood" - difficult to remove, due, in part, to the existing feudal conditions of Philippine society that foster such violence and to its deep-seated entrenchment in the university.

Juxtapose the unabated spate of fraternity violence with the national arena and the escalating human rights violations. Leaders of militant groups are systematically eliminated by state elements in broad daylight. Protesting farmers are shot for demanding their right to land. Journalists are murdered for exposing corruption. Fellow UP students are abducted for working in peasant communities.

Despite the national bloodshed, violence persists within the university. The fraternities' dogged acts of brutality speak of their glaring lack of social awareness. By remaining aloof to the national conditions, fraternities fail to challenge the prevailing system and instead, facilitate its perpetuation.

Indeed, the spiraling violence cn only spawn further violence.

The tradition of brutality is first cultivated in initiation rites, where the neophytes' consciousness is subsequently shaped. These hazing practices aim to amputate the neophytes from their previous connections, as though the fraternity is their sole source of affiliation. Meanwhile, the neophytes, disassociated as they are, willingly subject themselves tompractices they would otherwise reject in normal circumstances. The members' punishing show of authority firther forces the neophytes into submission, thus reinforcing the fraternities' strict, autocratic echelon. In the process, neophytes become "slaves" to their dominant "masters".

Also integral to the brotherhoods' collective identity is a warped concept of masculinity, which encompasses feudal characteristics like strength, power, dominance, agressiveness and a twisted sense of bravery. Consequently, slaves are expected to withstand their masters' abuse during initiation, even when the pain has become unbearable.

Through initiation, the spiral of violence is replicated. Those who survive the brotherhoods' rite of passage take it upon themselves to display their newfound sense of self. The slaves become warlords, unafraid of challenging other competing fraternities. Often mistaken for empowerment, this arrogant display of power fionds the flimsiest excuse to create the most vicious abuse: ambushes that target lone members of a rival fraternity and melees that result from mere eye contact. In performing these acts, the brothers hide their faces behind masks, as if to disavow responsibility for such inquiry.

For while fraternities are unremitting in their attacks, they falter at the bar of justice.

Despite the prevalence of violence and the passing of the Anti-Hazing Law, many are still attracted to the promises of the brotherhood. In this country's feudal system, the network of patronage and benefaction assured by the fraternities serve as guarantees for self-advancement: employment, resources, promotion, business and politics.

Thus, for all the brotherhoods' assertions of collectivity, their concerns seldom extend beyond their narrow alliances. And, as the brothers graduate, they bring with them the imprints of the fraternity into the national arena. With their propensity for the unrepentant abuse of power, it is no longer rival fraternities in danger but society itself.

In this sense, fraternities function as a pathological excrescence which duplicate a decadent feudal system.

Years after the deaths of Dennis Venturina, Mark Roland Martin, Alex Icasiano, Nin0 Calinao and Marlon Villanueva, the culture of brutality has again claimed another victim. Lest fraternities develop a social conscience that transcends the confines of their narrow relations , the death of Cris Mendez will not be the last.

*taken from the Sept 4 2007 editorial of the Philippine Collegian, Spiral of violence

veni, vidi, vici!

2007-08-30T22:43:00.000+08:00

I conquered hell season! Cheeeeers. :)

regrets this early?

2007-08-22T09:29:00.000+08:00

All this business going on makes me feel guilty.

But it's a lose-lose situation, I don't really have much choice..

meeting again for the first time

2007-08-20T03:06:00.000+08:00

Couldn't resist. Paul suggested that I do my buddy date writeup in a "blog entry" format, then I post it here too. Less effort. So here's the exact same thing I'll be submitting (minus the pics, it ruins the format here):

Before this, all I knew about my buddy Carisse was that her full name is Krisanta Carissa Vila, she’s currently a third year BAPA student and her mobile number is 0906XXXXXXX. I never really had the chance to get to know her since we rarely catch up with each other at the tambayan, and we only used text messaging for important updates and such, so it wasn’t really an option for some getting-to-know-your-buddy. Thank heavens for buddy dates.

Our double buddy date with Ate Vane and Jeza was scheduled to meet at 11AM at Trinoma, but it was already 10:45 when I got up. The cool weather seemed to make me want to stay in bed a little longer. Anyhow, seeing as I can’t possibly meet her on time, I sent her a text message, apologizing in advance that I was going to be late. She replied at once, saying it was okay, and that Ate Vane was coming late too so it wasn’t really a problem.

I got there around 11:30 already, and Ate Carisse and Ate Vane were at National Bookstore. I felt really guilty for them having to wait for us applicants (since Jeza wasn’t there yet too), but they seemed totally nonchalant about it and I’m thankful for that.

When Jeza arrived, we left the bookstore, and we were discussing where to go next when I told them about the All Flip-Flops outlet at Trinoma - the existence of which they apparently didn’t know of. They seemed overly thrilled at idea, being Havaianas enthusiasts themselves. We just enjoyed combing through the racks, seeing nice designs, trying pairs on, and getting some sort of sugar rush. We all had our list of “must-haves” by the time we left the store. It would’ve been a whole lot better if we had cash with us.

We decided to have lunch afterwards at Teriyaki Boy. That was where the actual getting-to-know thing began. We started with the basics – family background, hometown, acad-related stuff. And as the minutes went by, how can we miss the topic about love life? I guess this comes naturally when girls get together. Our talks vaguely sounded like Friendster surveys (“Ano ang pinakamasakit na nasabi sa’yo ng isang lalaki?”) and we just found ourselves bursting into laughter every now and then. And our bill amounted to almost P900, but me and my co-app Jeza paid only P200 each and our buddies split the rest between them. We’re lucky to get such generous buddies.

Searching for something fun and worthwhile activity to spend the afternoon with, we went to TimeZone with plans of getting into a karaoke booth. But when we got there, all studios were packed, so we waited, hoping that those people using the karaoke would get out pretty soon. After quite a long time, we abandoned our post and decided to go window-shopping instead. We went to various clothing shops – and could you imagine, Barbie? We were so laughing at ourselves then, a group of teenage girls wanting to buy Barbie dolls.

We got bored after sometime and we really, really wanted to go sing with the karaoke so we went back to TimeZone, and waited. We sat in some arcade game booth when Ate Vane spotted “Credits: 1” on the screen. Free credits! So we were in for a free round of Star Trek: Voyager. Cool. And it happened again, this time we got to play some train game thing for free.

After waiting yet again, we finally got into a karaoke booth. And we sure did sing our lungs out. Two microphones came with a karaoke so we did some of the songs in duets. It was totally fun. We spent more or less two hours there, on a P200 budget (P9 per song), to which they treated us again! Very generous indeed.

And of course, can we ever forget camwh*ring? Check out http://supervillainess.multiply.com/photos/album/10/Buddy_bonding for proof.

I came home a bit tired that day but I sure did have fun. And I got to know my buddy better. In the end, this buddy date wasn’t just a requirement to accomplish for the application process, but it also paved the way for me to know my buddy better than I would have known her if we didn’t do this. It’s like meeting her again for the first time.

-----

Greet me today! We just turned three months. :)

angst against MNG and the world

2007-08-19T21:54:00.000+08:00

The thing I hate most about being a petite is how I can't find my size in clothes and shoes, therefore limiting my options. Bitch.

-----

After all that I've seen and been through, I resolve never to settle for the mediocre. Never.

Things aren't always easy, but still it wouldn't hurt to try.

typhoon egay: hero or villain?

2007-08-17T10:30:00.000+08:00

I can't really decide whether this suspension of classes is good or bad.

Good: submission of requirements are delayed..yet again and less expenses since I'm just staying at home.

Bad: my plans for this week, this weekend, and for the early part of next week got ruined. T.T

Plus I'm stuck here at home without any food.

contradictions

2007-08-17T01:02:00.000+08:00

It's crazy the way you eagerly anticipate seeing someone and then dread the last moments of that meeting because you know you're gonna badly miss being with that person and it'll be a long wait to see him again. Or worse, you aren't really sure when.

If things were just simple.

But then it wouldn't be as fulfilling. :)

This is a secret.

2007-08-16T03:08:00.000+08:00

Be quiet, okay? I included my cousin's blog to my links list. She doesn't know. Haha. We're not really close so I figured linking her blog to mine would seem just plain weird. She's a writer and I'm into her works so I've taken to stalking her online recently. Hahaha. Oh and she's really good at Photoshop, she posts some of her stuff there too. I check it out from time to time.

PS Did I mention that we live under the same roof? :)

detached, confused, just utterly lost.

2007-08-15T21:36:00.000+08:00

Sigh. I feel so detached. In Ma'am Rubin's terms, probably "tiwalag sa paligid".

I've known them practically all my life, and yet, I haven't grown on them. Our lives never got as intertwined as they were supposed to be. Well, to an extent, yes, but just because we had to. We've been bestowed the responsibility, hence we have no choice. Roles dictated by society. No questions asked because it's the fucking status quo.

And yet, and yet, after all these years I've almost always been deviant. Deviant from imposed rules. Selective of what to follow and what to disregard. And eventually I got to set my own standards of right and wrong. Or maybe not - as Nicki of One Tree Hill puts it, maybe it's not all black and white, there's always a gray area. There's always such a thing as context.

And that's what they don't understand. They're just unsure of the extent to which they could subjugate this perverted punk kid so they had to resort to being authoritarian. No reasons, no explanations called for. No complaints will be entertained.

And that made the matter just worse. If I were a robot who couldn't think for itself or feel, it would be easier. But I had an opinion of my own, and it had its manifestations in my behavior later on. They would always tell me, "Mas marunong ka pa.." but then I daresay that my means would suit me better than theirs. Again, it's not good or bad, right or wrong. I dunno. I was brought up in such strange ideology that even I question them. A liberal could never ever be at peace with conservatives.

But how could a person become a liberal if she was brought up by two conservatives?

Oh hello, nature vs nurture.

When did I learn to question higher authority? It's something even Freud's unconscious won't be able to make sense of. And yes, even that Higher Authority. This is something I don't tell a soul about, as in not one single soul, because I don't have the reasons. I know this is gonna take a whole lot of explaining, it'll rain why's, and I just don't have the answer. Or maybe I just can't put abstract emotions (kaya nga abstract) into words. I dunno. I just hate doing something halfheartedly, I'd probably prefer not to do it at all.

Back to what I was saying. Darn it. It sucks when people are so narrow-minded and prejudiced that they fail to consider many factors that may have influenced a situation. They tend to conclude and assume at the outset and they fail to realize what the hell is going on beneath the superficial. They think the world is all about them. And me, maybe.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not some ungrateful angsty brat (at least I don't think so). I'm just confused. And lost.

How can such grownups be so immature?

Argh. I am so not making sense again.

random filler again

2007-08-13T20:44:00.000+08:00

Aba. Busy-busyhan. May panahon pa magblog. Got tagged by Emmyrose.

What Your Hands Say About You

You are logical, analytical, and rational. You have good verbal skills.

Bold and daring, you're not afraid to change your life if you think it needs an overhaul.

Practical and down to earth, you're a doer not a dreamer. You rather get something done than think about it all day.

Your emotions tend to be relaxed and uncomplicated. You don't read too much into things.

What Do Your Hands Say About You?

I like the "you don't read too much into things" part. So me. Bring on the pseudo-pessimist revolution.

-----

I'm updating the previous post soon. More requirements to come. Oooh.

why planners are so useful

2007-08-13T10:43:00.001+08:00

Rawr.

Aug 14: reaction paper on Pasyon ni Kristo for Fil25
Aug 15: seminar on HIV/AIDS for SocSci3; buddy date
Aug 16: special assignment paper for MS1; quiz for Psych; UP vs UST
Aug 17: sigsheet, buddy fee, buddy date writeup
Aug 18: UP vs ADMU
Aug 22: formal interview
Aug 23: group paper for MS1
Aug 24: group report for Fil25; Friday Film Bar: Manila By Night
Aug 25: UP vs DLSU
Aug 28: paper on bayan for Fil25
Aug 30: UP vs FEU
Aug 31: group paper for Film12
Sept 1: UP vs UE
Sept 2: field trip for MS1
Sept 6: UP vs AdU
Sept 9: UAAP Cheering Competition
Sept 14: group report for Film12
Sept 17: research paper for SocSci3
Sept 19: Quiapo tour for SocSci3
Sept 24: long exam for SocSci3

THE WORLD IS SO EFFING UNFAIR.

fun!

2007-08-09T03:23:00.001+08:00

Got this from Zach. Thought this Crush Calculator was your usual oh-so-highschool thing, but all I could say is IT SO FREAKING WORKS. Click ahead, try it out. :)

PS I got so struck that I actually had to post an entry for this instead of just adding it to the links list. Hahaha.

One down!

2007-08-07T20:52:00.000+08:00

Had my informal interview today, first batch. Went well I guess, thank you. I could really laugh at myself for the extra-eager preparations I've been doing. It turned out low-key after all.

(Gotta take extra care here, the mems warned us not to spill anything as the app interviews aren't over yet. Haha.)

I was with Jam, Camille and Arcel. We had a pretty large audience, andaming mems shet. I actually had fun, with the pressure and all. Kulit din ng mems eh. I only hope we had them amused in a good way. My buddy Carisse was there, I made sure to pick a sched for the interview kung kelan free din xa. Baka apihin ako ng mems, para naman may magtanggol sakin. Hahaha kidding. So supportive, salamat salamat.

Badtrip lang wala kong talent. All three of em did some dance number, and I sure as hell can't dance (tell me again why? Haha). I did some song number instead, and launched into a short discussion with Kuya Hans about the emo movement right after it. F*cking labels. But still, fun. :)

And I might add..cuz of that civil stat thing in the sigsheet, kilala na boyfriend ko sa Circa. (Kuya Clark: Onga eh, sinundo pa xa nung TBA..) And I'm not even a member yet. Haha.

Bottomline is, there, it's over and done with. One down. Congratulations to me. Hope I can get in. :)

-----

I heart the weather. It'd be so nice to just curl up in bed with a good book and listen to the rain outside (which means I've to take out Like Water for Chocolate outta the CAL Lib's Reserve Section).

On Shit and Religion

2007-08-07T02:17:00.000+08:00

Found this on Francis M's Multiply, and I just couldn't wait till morning to post. Shet panalo.

Close-to-complete Ideology and Religion Shit List

Taoism: Shit happens.
Confucianism: Confucius say, "Shit happens."
Buddhism: If shit happens, it isn't really shit.
Zen Buddhism: Shit is, and is not.
Zen Buddhism #2: What is the sound of shit happening?
Hinduism: This shit has happened before.
Islam: If shit happens, it is the will of Allah.
Islam #2: If shit happens, kill the person responsible.
Islam #3: If shit happens, blame Israel.
Catholicism: If shit happens, you deserve it.
Protestantism: Let shit happen to someone else.
Presbyterian: This shit was bound to happen.
Episcopalian: It's not so bad if shit happens, as long as you serve the right wine with it.
Methodist: It's not so bad if shit happens, as long as you serve grape juice with it.
Congregationalist: Shit that happens to one person is just as good as shit that happens to another.
Unitarian: Shit that happens to one person is just as bad as shit that happens to another.
Lutheran: If shit happens, don't talk about it.
Fundamentalism: If shit happens, you will go to hell, unless you are born again. (Amen!)
Fundamentalism #2: If shit happens to a televangelist, it's okay.
Fundamentalism #3: Shit must be born again.
Judaism: Why does this shit always happen to us?
Calvinism: Shit happens because you don't work.
Seventh Day Adventism: No shit shall happen on Saturday.
Creationism: God made all shit.
Secular Humanism: Shit evolves.
Christian Science: When shit happens, don't call a doctor - pray!
Christian Science #2: Shit happening is all in your mind.
Unitarianism: Come let us reason together about this shit.
Quakers: Let us not fight over this shit.
Utopianism: This shit does not stink.
Darwinism: This shit was once food.
Capitalism: That's MY shit.
Communism: It's everybody's shit.
Feminism: Men are shit.
Chauvinism: We may be shit, but you can't live without us...
Commercialism: Let's package this shit.
Impressionism: From a distance, shit looks like a garden.
Idolism: Let's bronze this shit.
Existentialism: Shit doesn't happen; shit IS.
Existentialism #2: What is shit, anyway?
Stoicism: This shit is good for me.
Hedonism: There is nothing like a good shit happening!
Mormonism: God sent us this shit.
Mormonism #2: This shit is going to happen again.
Wiccan: An it harm none, let shit happen.
Scientology: If shit happens, see "Dianetics", p.157.
Jehovah's Witnesses: >Knock< >Knock<>
Jehovah's Witnesses #2: May we have a moment of your time to show you some of our shit?
Jehovah's Witnesses #3: Shit has been prophesied and is imminent; only the righteous shall survive its happening.
Moonies: Only really happy shit happens.
Hare Krishna: Shit happens, rama rama.
Rastafarianism: Let's smoke this shit!
Zoroastrianism: Shit happens half on the time.
Church of SubGenius: BoB shits.
Practical: Deal with shit one day at a time.
Agnostic: Shit might have happened; then again, maybe not.
Agnostic #2: Did someone shit?
Agnostic #3: What is this shit?
Satanism: SNEPPAH TIHS.
Atheism: What shit?
Atheism #2: I can't believe this shit!
Nihilism: No shit.

very random

2007-08-03T16:12:00.000+08:00

I figured out how to get to Ninoy Aquino Stadium from UP all on my own. Therefore I realized I had a sense of direction. :)

-----

I should've done something but I've done it enough, by the way your hands were shaking rather waste some time with you. Should've said something but I said it enough, by the way my words were faded rather waste my time with you.

filler drama

2007-08-03T01:48:00.000+08:00

Oh, this sucks.

I feel sick inside and out.

I'm getting my consolation tomorrow anyway.

whatever, dude..

2007-07-31T18:37:00.000+08:00

Countless idle times this semester.

Really. Fifteen units, twelve of which are GEs, and the remaining three being Psych101. I totally redefine the term "light load". I can only respond with sympathetic looks, "OK lang yan" chants and pats on the back to friends who seem to be complaining about acads every now and then. Guys, we're in sophomore year. This is supposed to be the easiest phase in our whole stay at university..

The perks of a BA (as opposed to BS) student. Maybe.

Meaning it's gonna be totally frustrating, stupid, and disappointing if I don't get good marks on all of my subjects. This is the downside of it - I'm getting used to having so much idle time that I might tend to be even lazier than how lazy I am now.

I don't wanna slack off (again). This calls for motivation. I dunno. School seems so routinary lately, it gets so boring. So I'm constantly trying out new stuff every now and then. Or maybe not new - old stuff that I've forgotten doing, and forgotten enjoyed doing. Discovering a new passion, or maybe rediscovering old ones.

Do I sound too redundant?

Anyway, no better time to apply for membership to an org. So here I am. Hello, bottom rung of the ladder. Today I've been forced to sing (and emote along with the song!) Samson so I can get one of the members to sign my sigsheet. I would've enjoyed it more if I can really sing, as in sing. But hey, I like that song too, so sige lang. I only sang one line anyway! Hahaha. I was also asked (rather ordered) to sing Christina Milian's Until I Get Over You, but then I told them I only knew one line, so yeah, I only sang that line. Two lines qualified as two songs. Hahaha.

This early, I'm earning a strange reputation..strange not in a bad way but then not really in a good way. My coapps have been fooling around, making a big deal out of my rather different behavior. For example, I tend to address them "Dude". Or on some occasions I might exclaim with a slew of swearwords. Or if I'm in a playful mood I sometimes make extra large gestures that turn out to look funny. They exaggerate all these, and I do laugh it off myself. I know they're just being makulit, which is okay. I'm not annoyed or anything. I just hope this buildup won't veer the wrong way. I've always tried to keep a low profile, (whether my attempts succeeded or not, who can tell?) I hope this doesn't change things.

Whatever. I don't think I make sense.

Bloopers Night

2007-07-27T23:57:00.000+08:00

Watched Casa at the Film Institute last night. Before you raise a freaking eyebrow, I'm gonna say that it's a requirement for my SocSci 3 class.

It's just about the most stupid movie I've ever seen. Everything was just so awful - the plot (hell, is there even a story?!), the characters, the cinematography, even the bed scenes suck. Totally. Yeah, it made me laugh on some occasions, but all on the wrong occasions. We figured that the audience were laughing at the stupidity of the film, not because the substance itself was funny. Or maybe it was a bad attempt at injecting humor (it was THAT bad, I couldn't tell if they were kidding or what). As Paul puts it, UP students (most of the audience) are just too smart to appreciate this film.

Anyhow, the gay (host? producer?) whatever that night gave us a bit of amusement before they screened the film. Wrong grammar in all places dude, and I do mean in all places. The whole freaking crowd was laughing every now and then. Our favorites? He was reading about this concert sponsored by this frat (who sponsored Casa too), and some of the performers were Spandskola and Chi-kosi. Read: Sponge Cola and Chicosci. This blooper isn't as funny when you read it - I can't figure out how to visually represent the gay dude's accent - but if you were there, I swear you could have busted off your belly laughing like me.

I swear I am not exaggerating anything.

In addition. Asia Agcaoili and her co-star was there at the screening. Some of the male audience even went up to Asia and asked for her picture and autograph. I said out my disbelief out loud, as in something maybe scandalous. It probably was, because Paul told me that I am gonna get the both of us in trouble. Di ka naman napaaway diba? Haha.

But Bloopers Night isn't over yet. Paul and I decided to have dinner at Shakey's Katip - indulge ourselves in good food after such an annoying movie (can't get over it till now, sorry). We continued bashing the movie all the way through dinner and laughed our hearts out again about the gay dude's Spandskola and Chi-kosi bands.

Until I realized who the people in the booth next to us were.

Ooh. It was Gosh Dilay. And I could have sworn the long-haired guy with his back to us was Armo.

Holy smokes.

(Gosh and Armo play bass and rhythm - respectively - for Sponge Cola.)

Thank heavens we were done eating. I didn't have to hide my embarrassment much longer.

-----

I hate to witness (although secondhand) people breaking down because of..well..love. Pseudo relationships never ever work out okay.

Flooded. Drowning.

2007-07-23T13:40:00.000+08:00

It's the strangest thing: I can't concentrate on reading my pirated copy of Potter 7.

Could it be just because I got stuck in some boring chapter of the book?

Doesn't seem like it. Though I've been forcing myself to believe otherwise, I know that I was trying to fend off distraction since last night. I can't go on reading for a long stretch without any diversion, to think that I used to read Potter books nonstop (and I do mean it quite literally).

And given that I'm reading the supposedly most-awaited installment of this series I'm totally into. Darn. What's gotten into me?

I'll try to get back to reading.

eurgh

2007-07-18T12:40:00.001+08:00

In an emo-ish mood lately.

-----

Ang nagpapaligaya lang sa'yo ang nagpapalungkot sa'yo.
Hindi ka kayang paligayahin ng bagay na hindi nakakapagpalungkot sa'yo.

- Prof. Ligaya Tiamson-Rubin

Strange enough, I dig her stories. Packed with practical lessons on life and love. Talk about hand-me-down advice from a senior citizen who isn't related to me at all. Other than theis teacher-student relationship, I mean. I usually take advice only from people I'm close with.

-----

I found this Plain White T's song somewhere on the net. Newest addition to the list of songs I looove. Title's Hey There Delilah.

hey there delilah
whats it like in new york city
im a thousand miles away
but girl tonight you look so pretty
yes you do
time square cant shine as bright as you
i swear its true

hey there delilah
dont you worry about the distance
im right there if you get lonely
give this song another listen
close your eyes
listen to my voice its my disguise
im by your side

oh its what you do to me
oh its what you do to me
oh its what you do to me
oh its what you do to me
what you do to me

hey there delilah
i know times are gettin hard
but just believe me girl
someday ill pay the bills with this guitar
we'll have it good
we'll have the life we knew we would
my word is good

hey there delilah
ive got so much left to say
if every simple song i wrote to you
would take your breath away
id write it all
even more in love with me youd fall
we'd have it all

oh its what you do to me
oh its what you do to me
oh its what you do to me
oh its what you do to me

a thousand miles seems pretty far
but they've got planes and trains and cars
id walk to you if i had no other way
our friends would all make fun of us
and we'll just laugh along because we know
that none of them have felt this way
delilah i can promise you
that by the time that we get through
the world will never ever be the same
and youre to blame

hey there delilah
you be good and dont you miss me
two more years and youll be done with school
and ill be makin history like i do
you know its all because of you
we can do whatever we want to
hey there delilah heres to you
this ones for you

oh its what you do to me
oh its what you do to me
oh its what you do to me
oh its what you do to me
what you do to me

And Cynthia Alexander! This indie artist has exceptional songwriting skills. My fave verses:

do you need somebody
do you need a someone
who will make your sunset last forever
who will daisy chain you in the summer

tell me how it is
to love & live & be
no promises knowing
there is only now
knowing there is only now

-----

Time is the biggest cheater in all the universe. Why does it have to be like this?

blooper.

2007-07-11T22:16:00.000+08:00

Fooling around at UCC. :)

Meeting again for the first time

2007-07-09T17:36:00.000+08:00

Hello folks. Just came back from dinner. Believe it or not, I had three servings of rice today. Okay, not as in three cups, but that's such a huge improvement for miss-always-half-rice me. People here are really great cooks. I swear to heaven I've already gained how many pounds in my month-long stay here.

Darn. Bring on the low-fat yogurt regimen. Hahaha.

-----

I was walking alone at school this morning. With a slight headache from a minor hangover. It was raining. No, that was just a drizzle (too lazy for backspace). It was all too quiet, save for TBS's New American Classic on my player.

Ah, the simple thrills of life. I just felt so pleasant.

-----

Jimmy Eat World.

Could it be that everything goes 'round by chance?
Or only one way that it was always meant to be?

Either way, I'm happy you're here with me. :)

When you're depressed and chocolates are out of reach.

2007-07-03T19:34:00.000+08:00

Got this from Kate. A quiz entitled "Which major is right for you?"

You scored as English/Journalism/Comm, You should strongly consider majoring (or minoring) in Communication, English, Film, Journalism, Literature, or Writing.

It is possible that the best major for you is your 2nd, 3rd, or even 5th listed category, so be sure to consider ALL majors in your OTHER high scoring categories (below). You may score high in a category you didnt think you would--it is possible that a great major for you is something you once dismissed as not for you. The right major for you will be something 1) you love and enjoy and 2) are really great at it.

Consider adding a minor or double majoring to make yourself standout and to combine your interests. Please post your results in your myspace/blog/journal.

French/Spanish/OtherLanguage

94%

English/Journalism/Comm

94%

PoliticalScience/Philosophy

88%

Psychology/Sociology

88%

HR/BusinessManagement

81%

History/Anthropology/LiberalArts

69%

Visual&PerformingArts

69%

Accounting/Finance/Marketing

63%

Education/Counseling

63%

Nursing/AthleticTraining/Health

56%

Biology/Chemistry/Geology

50%

Physics/Engineering/Computer

25%

Religion/Theology

19%

Mathematics/Statistics

WHAT MAJOR IS RIGHT FOR YOU?
created with QuizFarm.com

My Math prowess so shows. Haha.

-----

Why do I have this mood today? Am badly in need of chocolates. :(

Finally!

2007-06-28T18:40:00.000+08:00

Oh yeah. Finally. This six weird things about me thing. Got tagged by Bea.

Rules (I so hate rules): people who get tagged need to write a blog post of their own with 6 weird things, as well as state the rules clearly. in the end, you need to choose 6 people to be tagged and list their names. don’t forget to leave a comment that says "you are tagged" in their comments and tell them to read your blog post.

Before I start my list, I'd like to point out that these things are those that I think are strange. We all have different notions of weird, meaning there may be things about me that other people might consider weird but I don't, because that's just who I am.

Oh whatever. Here it goes.

1. I tend to complicate my life. I tend to make problems out of seemingly normal situations (see paragraph above for example). A friend once told me: E hindi naman yun problema, ba't mo pinoproblema?

2. I used to keep mementos of past events, such as receipts, blister packs of tablets, ticket stubs, and table napkins from restos. And letters - I still have today those letters from our open forum way back in high school, sophomore year. That makes it four years now. Hahaha.

3. Once, I've fallen asleep in the shower. And I mean while taking a shower, with the water running and all.

4. I am a pluralist and yet an idealist. Not somewhere in between the continuum of these two, but I can be an extreme pluralist at one point and an extreme idealist at another point. But I'd rather drift to the pluralist side. Idealists suck.

5. I love to doodle out my stress. That might not sound weird at all but I'd like to add that I doodle on tissue paper, on book margins, readings, and of course on my school notebook. You'd see it littered with emo-bashing and lyric fragments from songs which reflect my mood that moment.

6. I hate, detest, despise, loathe the color pink. They say it's common for girls to lurve this color, but I just don't. And I am a girl, in case you're in doubt.

Done! And following in Paul Chua's footsteps: I tag no one.

-----

Changed my LSS. Now it's Sweet Soul Revue by Pizzicato Five. It's some sort of bubblegum j-pop (yeah, bubblegum pop! And it's actually playing in my head!) way back from the nineties, I think. I heard Wawel singing this sometime before, then it just stuck. I actually uploaded it to my Multiply.

I know you're laughing at me. I am too. Hahaha. Just lemme do my thing.

kesa hajimete
kagami wo mite
ki ga tsuita no
anata ni koi shiteru no
anata ni koi shiteru no

omekashi shite
doko e yuku no?
so anata ni
ai ni yuku no yo
baby machi wa itsumo parade
baby dakara tsuite iko yo

yo no naka ni wa
sweet ya
catchy ga ippai aru yo ne
dakishimetai
ureshikute
hoho hozuri shitakunaru desho

hora revue ga hajimaru
hora okurenaide ne
hora revue ga hajimaru
hora wasurenaide ne

tabun kyo wa
watashi wo mite
ki ga tsuku hazu
anata mo koi shiterutte
watashi ni koi shiterutte

terebi de mita
furui eiga
musical no
revue mitai ne
baby machi wa itsumo parade
baby hora ne kikoeru desho

yo no naka ni wa
happy ya
lucky ga ippai aru yo ne
kuchizuketai
ureshikute
hoho hozuri
shitakunaru desho

hora revue ga hajimaru
hora okurenaide ne
hora revue ga hajimaru
hora wasurenaide ne

yo no naka ni wa
sweet ya
catchy ga
ippai aru hazu
kami-sama
parade ni
ame nante furasenaide
yo no naka ni
happy mo
lucky mo
zenzen nakutemo
anata to nara
ureshikute
hoho hozuri shitakunaru desho
hozuri shitakunaru desho

hora revue ga hajimaru
hora okurenaide ne
hora revue ga hajimaru
hora wasurenaide ne

-----

Oooh. Not just backache today. Got a slight headache too. Rawr.

-----

Anata ni koi shiteru no..

Define Later.

2007-06-27T15:15:00.000+08:00

I'm running out of things to talk about lately. Not much activity.

Hmm. Apart from us turning one month last week (20 June). Hehe. Am not spilling details! :)

Oh yeah. I just remembered. It seemed I got up on the wrong side of the bed this Monday, things turned out all wrong. It started when I accidentally cut my own thumb. By a razor. It was lying on the floor of the closet. I was rummaging through the closet when my right hand dived and my thumb met the razor's piercing blades. It bled like hell. And I really mean hell.

The pain of my thumb kept my whole right hand pretty useless the rest of that day. Grrr.

Next was the rude cab driver. I need not explain.

Then my headset wasn't working properly. I truly truly hate Motorola.

Then I got dizzy and went to the lib to sleep.

Zzzzz.

-----

I met up with former Socio classmates MJ and Ana yesterday. MJ also tagged along a friend of hers, Tal. We bought time and space (hahaha) at the SM North Starbucks, which I had no idea was existent until yesterday. I've been patronizing Seattle's Best and UCC coffee all this time I've been to that mall.

I tried out their new blend called Azuki. Freaking pricey (relatively), P145 for a tall one. I could've bought a venti of another drink. It doesn't taste anything special though, and I prefer it cream-based to coffee-based. Tal hated it. She took maybe three sips and decided the flavor sucked, and actually handed it over to streetkids outside the mall. Streetkids drinking Starbs coffee? Holy shit.

Another thing. I couldn't get what the tagline on the Azuki promotion poster meant. It said something like, "Have you ever tasted a daydream?"

We went to Mango afterwards. Discount galore, up to half the price! Damn. I suddenly wished that I hadn't wasted my money on two weird Azukis. I found graphic tees, a black cardigan and a black racerback which made my hair stand on end. Maybe it was a bad idea to be with girls whom you share the same passion with (in this case it's clothes), we were all feeling emo over the fact that we can't score a good find. Sizes are sooooo limited. We all agreed that it was such a discriminatory act against petites (like moi!!!) who have to literally turn the store upside down just to find their size. In most instances, I don't find what i want. Grrr. And the fact that everything (almost) was on sale makes the situation all the more frustrating.

They were right. A girl's behavior when shopping is something that the opposite sex just won't understand. Hahaha.

-----

I have a new perpetual LSS: New Found Glory's cover of The Glory of Love.

Tonight it's very clear/As we're both lying here/There's so many things I wanna say/I will always love you/I will never leave you alone/Sometimes I just forget/Say things I might regret/It breaks my heart to see you crying/I don't wanna lose you/I could never make it alone/'Cuz I am the man/Who will fight for your honor/I'll be the hero/That you're dreaming of/We're gonna live forever/Knowing together that we/Did it all for the glory of love/You keep me standing tall/You help me through it all/I'm always strong when you're beside me/I have always needed you/I could never make it alone/'Cuz I am the man/Who will fight for your honor/I'll be the hero/That you're dreaming of/We're gonna live forever/Knowing together that we/Did it all for the glory of love/It's like a knight in shining armor/From a long time ago/Just in time I'll save the day/Take you to my castle far away/I am the man/Who will fight for your honor/I'll be the hero/That you're dreaming of/We're gonna live forever/Knowing together that we/Did it all for the glory of love..

Filler

2007-06-26T14:23:00.000+08:00

My page has been sitting idly for weeks now.

But I'm not updating it yet. Maybe later. I'm leaving in a while to get some coffee. :)

This is embarrassing.

2007-06-17T22:10:00.000+08:00

Okay, I admit it. Friday night was just the most embarrassing moment of my life.

Because it is so, no details here. I just wanted to give a shoutout to everybody who took me as a bit of their responsibility that night. Special thanks to Steph, Rhan, and Tin.

And the person who deserves the most credits - Paul. As always. Thanks.

-----

As I've predicted, it's a Spurs sweep. Hahaha.

-----

First class tomorrow's 10AM. Gotta catch up on readings (really! I'm trying hard not to slack off). See you.

Good luck on your first day tomorrow. :)

Hitler heart Machiavelli.

2007-06-13T18:01:00.000+08:00

I'm on a high again today.

In chronological order: firstly, the NBA finals are now 0-3. In favor of the Spurs. Today's game was a close shave already for them at 75-72. The Cavs seem to be banking on their homecourt advantage during the first quarter, and I was sure the Spurs triumvirate wasn't working well. I was about to take back everything I said about the Cavs on my last post, but then again the Spurs proved themselves.

But still, so many people are rooting for the Cavs. Hmm.

Sorry Cavs fans. I can't help bragging. Haha.

Second. Paul cooked adobo for me! He brought it for our lunch today. His dish was great (really!) for a newbie.

Looking forward to your sinigang. :)

Third. My mom's approved of my Friday night out. Haha pathetic. I am excited.

-----
There's an All Flip Flops outlet at TriNoma! And Stoked! OD.

Two highschool friends of mine (I'm not sure if it's okay to mention their names! Haha.) saw me and Paul there today, at TimeZone. Why did you guys not call me? Haha.
-----

Backache's kicked in. See you around.

-----

PS I still sound like my highschool sports ed self. I guess I miss the paper after all.

Butterflies in the Stomach.

2007-06-12T15:58:00.000+08:00

Wow. It brings me here again. After quite a period of time.

Crash course on what I've been up to after my last post: I went to the islands of Visayas for a one-week vacation. We left Manila for Tacloban on Sunday (27 May) and got back the next Sunday (3 June). I was with my mum. To think that we went to a place chock-full of my Dad's relatives.

My stay there was like an epiphany. A strange sense of belonging just washed over me. I couldn't understand what they were saying half the time (hell no. MOST of the time!) but there you go.

Okay. I know I'm starting to sound weird. But then this experience was anything but ordinary. It helped that I deliberately deprived myself of an internet connection and the other sorts of luxuries we have here in the city. Of course the mobile's not one of em - it's a necessity, not a luxury. Hahaha.

Words would actually spoil it, so I'm not dishing much. :)

-----

It was start of the general reg the day right after I came back to Manila. But that Monday wasn't very productive since my college doesn't give out form5As to non-freshmen and non-graduating studes. I had to come back a few times after that day and yet I didn't manage to get past my pre-enlisted 9 units worth of subjects. It was tiring as hell.

The morning rain clouds up my window
And I can't see at all.
And even if I could it'd all be gray
But your picture on my wall
It reminds me that it's not so bad,
It's not so bad.

But on second thought, not. No regrets at all. Thanks.

-----

Can you believe it? I got a 2.0 in Socio. A high final grade for someone who just slacked off the whole summer.

Okay, I did not just slack off. I really learned a thing or two, but I did come short of the requirements (got lazy, sorry).

-----

The whole week I was in Samar (and Leyte), I had no news at all about the NBA Playoffs. That's why I was utterly surprised when I got back and learned that it's San Antonio vs Cleveland in the finals. The Cavs was a no-namer before. Lebron James must have been one hell of a player this season. It just shocked me more to learn that the Cavs' last rival before the finals were the Pistons. Detroit should have won, they'd make for better competition against the Spurs in the finals.

There's been two games so far, and it's 2-0 in favor of the Spurs. Which was kinda what I expected. Hello?! Tim Duncan, Tony Parker, Manu Ginobili? Against who? The single force of Lebron James?

To be fair to the Cavs, they put up fairly well with the Spurs so far. They managed to draw a 29-pt lead down to nine points..too bad they seem to have come to their senses only during the fourth quarter.

Sheesh.

No other sport ever gets my adrenaline pumping like this. Even if I'm just a spectator.

Game 3 is tomorrow. Cavs homecourt.

-----

Bea tagged me. I'm supposed to post six weird things about me, then tag a few people just like what she did.

If ever you read this, Bea..tinatamad pa ko eh. Peace. :p

-----

It is hot in here.

-----

My cousins are having a movie marathon. Guess what they're watching? 300 and Shooter.

Haha. Wala lang. I just remembered something.

-----

Pon and Zi. You rock. Amazing artwork, Azuzephre.

Girl bonding I missed. :)

2007-05-25T15:48:00.000+08:00

Girl, put your records on.
Tell me your favorite song.
You go ahead let your hair down
Sapphire and faded jeans,
I hope you get your dreams.
Just go ahead let your hair down.

Hangouts with close high school friends have been really rare since I ventured into college, specially because my close friends went into schools different from mine. Our schedules just seemed to clash.

Summer came and passed (almost!) and we still haven't had a real get-together. Well, to cut things short, three girls decided to meet up yesterday afternoon: Tin, Faith, and me.

Fresh from the Cagayan de Oro nightlife, Faith had a craving for pizza. So instead of going to Mocha Blends Taytay as planned, we went to The Gate - this subtle foodstrip at Taytay with really nice and cheap food finds. Our first stop was at Pizzeria Volare - we had pizza, fries, and beer. We bluffed the waitress. Ssshhh.

It rained as we finished our meal, so we decided to go for some coffee. It turned out we were getting hot coffee. There's this neat coffee shop at again, The Gate, named Cofitarium. They had no customers that time (and I do mean NO customers) so the place was ours. We loved the ambiance, and of course, the coffee. I forgot what the two girls ordered but I got a French Vanilla Latte. 70 bucks. Ah, the cheap thrills of life.

But the most unforgettable about that afternoon was the company. It was just fun sitting there with them, laughing, talking, laughing some more. Of course boys were being dragged around our conversations - it's always fun talking about them whether positive or negative. Hahaha. We were so curious about Faith's budding love life as they were eager pressing for details about mine; and I was glad that Tin wasn't feeling so bitter about being single. Nor about not being able to make it to Diliman. That was bad, but feeling bitter about it would only make things worse.

We started making plans for an overnight pool party or a sleepover-slash-you know what, but as expected nothing really concrete came up. We exchanged news, tips, and gossip - how we didn't like this girl whom one of our friends were courting, stuff about school, which bars offer cheap drinks, and so on.

It was still raining when we left. Left with no choice (read: no umbrellas), we braved the rain. But it was fun.

I dunno if it was just the 5% alcohol working inside me, but my life in overall has just hit an all-time high. I just love what's going on with me now. :)

PS Faith paid for everything! We love you! (Not just because of the treats, of course.)

Social Contract Theory. Only ours wasn't a contract.

2007-05-21T16:05:00.000+08:00

Maybe what I did was just like the Social Contract Theory. Giving up a part of your freedom in exchange for something more. Something better.

May 19, Saturday (sorry the update's so late). My Socio prof told us that we could get an incentive if we watch and submit reaction papers about two short films to be shown at Freedom Bar. Saturday, 8PM. Many of the girls in my class were enthusiastic about the idea, but Saturday came and only four of us showed up. And I was with Paul, so that makes five of us. And we got there early despite the fact that none of us knew how to really get there.

Turns out it was a good idea since Ms Anna treated us to P150 worth of drinks, so we were able to budget that between the five of us. I wanted to go for cocktails, but they were just way pricey (a hundred bucks a shot! We should have gone to Drews). So I went for the beer too even if I wasn't a beer person. Masarap ang libre.

I had no idea that those two short films were really short. Like, fifteen minutes. They were also constructed in the indie film format (okay, I made that up). I mean those artsy types so intricate that you really need to work up your logic so you could understand. Worst part is, fifteen minutes is all that there is, so it really makes you hang on tenterhooks. You have to understand what this detail meant NOW or else you won't understand the rest of the film. So you can't blame me if that's the quality of my reaction paper. Ms Anna promised us full credits anyway.

There were live performances by rock bands in between. Most songs they played were in the line of hardcore so I didn't enjoy much. I only go so far as alternative, I'm not the metal type. Usually.

As the night went by (and turned into wee hours of the morning), I was just enjoying my company. However, Ada and Mitch took interest on the occupants of the table next to ours, so..there. I know you could imagine. Haha. Poor Ana, she must have felt so out of place.

Paul and I left for coffee at past 12, good thing SBC at Katipunan was still open.

Darn. I can't wait to get to this. We're official. :)

Social Contract Theory. Giving up part of my freedom in exchange for something better. I loved being single, it made me discover who I really was. It made me comfortable in my own skin. But then I feel he's worth saying goodbye to the single life for. And of course, worth risking my feelings for.

Only ours wasn't a contract. :) And now, there's just no holding back.

I'm feeling the pressure this early. But I know I could stand through it. :)

After-school escapade.

2007-05-18T20:53:00.000+08:00

Finally, summer class is over! This is probably the break I've been waiting for after how many sleepless nights.

We had the debate this morning (we chose that instead of a final exam). I'm just so glad it's over, it was so nerve-wracking. And of course the preparation was so stressing. I've been assigned to compile the paper containing all our arguments for the debate. Good thing I finished it. Though I hit the bed 2AM.

I did the conclusion part in the debate. I was so worried that I'd screw up in my speech but with the help of my really nice groupmates I was able to pull through. The prof also thought we put up a better stand than the other group.

And I might add, our "resident debater" (read: DebSoc member) was in that other group.

Hahaha. Do I sound so sunny today?

You wanna know why?

I'm not telling you. Hahaha.

Oops. I just remembered. It isn't really over yet. My prof told us to watch this film showing if we wanted to get an incentive. It's at Freedom Bar at Anonas tomorrow night.

Shoot. I hope the guards let me in. I'm sixteen, dude.

Anyway, that might be the night out my classmates and I have been waiting for. We've been planning to go to one as soon as classes end, so we thought this was the perfect opportunity. Do the partay-ing after watching the film.

Again, I hope I can get in.

Back to today. Paul and I chanced upon checking out the newly-opened TriNoma in QC, just across SM North. It was only on a soft opening (opened this Wednesday) so most of the shops are still closed. But you could tell it's a wickedly nice mall, specially when it gets in full swing.

The mall has many of those hard-to-find shops, including the really good staples: Mango, Zara, Birkenstocks, Crocs, Dorothy Perkins, Nike Women, Shoe Salon, Adidas, and lots more! They also have the Crossings Department Store - United Pop, Rocco, (X)SML..it's just heaven. And I know I forgot to mention a lot of other really nice shops we found. Ayala malls. Wow, really.

They've also got your staple fastfood chains - McDonald's, Jollibee, KFC. We had lunch at Tokyo Tokyo. Service is fast, the food was delivered just as we found seats. Nice seats by the way. There's also the cool food court with lots of couches so people could just lounge there if they get tired roaming around. But the best dining experience would probably be at the mall's garden restos, a bunch of outdoor restos on the garden at the fourth floor. I can't wait to dine there when the restos are all open, preferably at night. It was just so charming, with all its water attractions and lush landscape architecture. Ooooh.

Of course I wouldn't like a mall if it didn't have an arcade. TriNoma boasts of its TimeZone, supposedly the flagship and largest Philippine location. But going there was rather disappointing, as it was just on a soft opening and there wasn't many games as I expected. (Biggest TimeZone, hello?!)

And I just need to include this - the comfort rooms are a labyrinth! The female one near the cinemas, at least. It had lots of cubicles (I should have counted!) and they were constructed in such a way that..argh, I can't explain. But I'm not kidding, it's like a maze. The sinks were cool though. But there was no hand dryer. Boo.

Aside from the still-closed cool shops, what kept us was the event at the activity center. Live performances by Sino Sikat?, Silent Sanctuary, and Up Dharma Down. First to perform was Sino Sikat?, which I didn't enjoy much. I wasn't interested in their genre and the vocalist looked a bit bitchy and looked like she had a nose job (sorry, I was being honest). Next in line was Silent Sanctuary. I just realized how great the mix of a violin, a cello, and a bass guitar is. The music gives you strong fits of mush, just like the way when you listen to the violin in a Yellowcard track. Oooh.

By the way, we weren't able to stick around to see Up Dharma Down play since it was already a bit late and I had to go home. Sigh. When will I ever see Armi Millare perform?

After TriNoma, we decided to have dinner. I just discovered something new - McDonald's milkshakes! Paul argued that McDo had these milkshakes a few weeks ago, but I told him they weren't available yet when I had lunch at the Philcoa branch just yesterday. Anyway, it's available in three different flavors - chocolate, strawberry, and..oops, I forgot. I had the chocolate milkshake while Paul ordered the strawberry one. [Check out the pic above.] I give it two thumbs up! :)

Well. That's about it for today. :)

PS I hope I can get this confusion out of my system.

This goes to Punk'd!

2007-05-17T20:59:00.000+08:00

A big shoutout goes to Paul Chua. Thanks dude! I never could have managed. He offered to help with my layout even without me asking. (Or he probably thought my site was so pathetic. Haha.)

[If you're reading this, thanks again! I think I can manage with the other stuff now.]

WTF CSS

2007-05-17T00:07:00.000+08:00

Okay. I give up. I've been doing this for around five hours now.

I can't freaking do my own layout. This sucks.

I've a backache now. Argh.

I swear. I'm gonna conquer you someday, CSS.

Sugar Rush

2007-05-11T18:07:00.000+08:00

Okay. This isn't a proper blog entry. I just found this posted on Pia Magalona's Multiply.

If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.
If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.
Stop making excuses for a man and his behaviour.
Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.
Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that's not meant to be.
Slower is better.
Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.
If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no, you can't "be friends".-- A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend.
Don't settle. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is.
Don't stay because you think "it will get better." You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.
The only person you can control in a relationship is you.
Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, why would he treat you any differently?
Always have your own set of friends separate from his.
Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you.
If something bothers you, speak up.
Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.
You cannot change a man's behaviour. Change comes from within.
Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are... even if he has more education or in a better job.
Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a man, nothing more nothing less.
Never let a man define who you are.
Never borrow someone else's man. If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you.
A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.
All men are NOT dogs.
You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is two way street.
You need time to heal between relationships...there is nothing cute about baggage... deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship.
You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you... a relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals... look for someone complimentary...not supplementary.
Dating is fun... even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right.
Make him miss you sometimes... when a man always know where you are, and you're always readily available to him - he takes it for granted.
Never move into his mother's house.
Never co-sign for a man.
Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need.
Keep him in your radar but get to know others.

Just thought it was cute. And soooo true. This is probably the best advice to receive about guys.

Only a lot of things here are learned the hard way. :( I do hope I learned at my first try at "love". Not that I'm bitter or anything, but even if you've gotten over the person, the things that you've learned are gonna stay with you through the rest of your life.

I hope they do. :)

Wow.

2007-05-10T14:55:00.000+08:00

So this is my first blog entry. Why did I decide to put up a blog anyway?

You guessed it: boredom. Though I'm having summer classes, things are still boring.

Or maybe I just don't want to do things I'm supposed to do.

Anyway, I'm here at an aunt's place in QC. I guess I'll be staying here for the next sem too. I just love it here, my aunt saved me the hassle of looking for a boarding house - or dorm - or apartment - for me to stay in when the regular sem comes.

Yeah, I love it here. I sort of even like it here more than at home. 1)They've got DSL, 2)they've got a landline (two actually), 3)there's a guitar, a violin, and a piano here (not that I'm very good at any of those instruments, but I might actually learn to be!), and 4)the freedom! I'm totally loving this lack of parental supervision. My mom's off to Bicol with my aunt who owns this place, my dad's there in Rizal, and all I have here are my two cousins and their maid. My cousins are grownups but not too grown up to be KJs.

My summer's not that wasted after all. I'm actually enjoying my Socio 11 class, with all my cool classmates and cool prof. Only I didn't realize that today is the last day for dropping subjects. Not that I'm thinking of dropping (what the hell? This is my ONLY subject this summer!) but it hasn't come to me that summer term really is.. so short.

Now that I've touched on academics, I wanted to give myself a clear view of what's in store for my Socio class..instead of a final exam, we're gonna have a debate. That's going to be on the 18th. I'm supposed to be working on it now, but here you go. And we have an exam on the 15th, after the senatorial and local elections (no classes that day, May 14, Monday).

Okay. I should read that real often.

Anyway, I'm not feeling anything really strong or significant right now, so there's not really much I can write about. That's what fuels my writing. Emotions.

I'll come back later (define later). It's cloudy outside. Good, I can use the cold air.